The Love of a Father
by imnotokaywiththerunning
Summary: Season one AU. Mary discovers some unsettling news about her parents that changes her life and all of those at the Abbey.
1. Chapter 1

Mary was reeling. She didn't know what to do. She had been in search of her Mama when she had heard her arguing with her Papa. The raised voices coming from her Mama's bedroom had stopped her from knocking. Her parents had never had a disagreement like this. At least, not where Mary had heard. She was going to leave back to her own room when she heard her name. She shouldn't have eavesdropped, but they were talking about the entail.

"I don't understand why you won't fight for her! She is your daughter!" Mama shouted.

"But she's not my daughter, is she? She's the butler's!"

Mary's ears were ringing. That couldn't possibly be true. Her Papa was just tired. He didn't know what he was saying. It couldn't be true. She was Lady Mary Crawley, eldest daughter of the Earl of Grantham. She was most definitely not the daughter of a servant! But why would Papa say that if it weren't true? She needed to know the truth. She looked back at the door behind which her parents were still arguing. She couldn't go in there now. There was only one other person who would know and he would never lie to her.

"My Lady!" Carson stood as she entered his pantry without knocking. He moved from behind his desk when he saw the tear tracks on her face. "Is everything alright, my Lady?"

Mary closed his door and leaned back against it looking at the butler fearfully. "Is it true, Carson?"

Carson smiled gently at her, "Is what true, my Lady?"

Mary held his gaze and took a deep breath. "Is it true that I am not the daughter of the Earl of Grantham, but the illegitimate child of his butler?"

Carson paled considerably looking away, "Where did you hear such a tale, my Lady?"

"Carson, please!" She looked at him imploringly. "I need to know. Is it true?"

Carson looked at her for a long moment. Closing his eyes, he breathed, "yes."

Mary began to shake violently. She couldn't believe it. She didn't want to believe it. If she did, she would have to admit that her whole life had been one giant lie. Carson was lying to her. There was no other explanation. This was some cruel prank. No, it was a nightmare. Yes, a nightmare that she was going to wake from any minute.

She screamed at the hand placed on her shoulder. "Stay away from me!"

Carson recoiled from her as if she'd slapped him. He looked so pained to see her crying. But what right did he have to feel sorry for her tears? This was his fault. His and her Mama's.

"Oh God! I'm worse than a servant!"

"No," Carson said forcefully. "As far as anyone is concerned, you _are_ the eldest daughter of the Earl of Grantham. You are still Lady Mary Crawley."

"But I'm not, am I?" she cried, tossing her hands to her side. "I'm a servant's bastard!"

"No! Don't say that," Carson stepped towards her and grasped her hands. "Lord Grantham raised you as his and he is your father. I'm sorry. You were never meant to find out."

Mary clung to his hands trying to stem the flow of tears until Carson pulled her into an embrace as he had done countless times before when she had been upset. Now she knew why. She sobbed uncontrollably into his jacket as he rocked her gently until she calmed.

"Who was it that told you?" His voice rumbled through her as she kept her head buried in his lapels.

"I heard Mama and Papa arguing over the entail. Papa said he wouldn't fight for me because I wasn't his daughter."

She felt Carson stiffen, but he kept silent. He continued to hold her until she pushed back from him to wipe her tears.

"I think I'll retire for the night," she said looking anywhere but at the butler. She placed her hand on the door to leave, "Thank you for your honesty, Carson."

"Will you be alright, my Lady?"

She only nodded at him and left before she could embarrass herself further. She felt his pitying gaze on her all the way to her bedroom.

* * *

A frosty silence had fallen between Cora and Robert as they settled into bed. Both were still upset over their disagreement about the entail. Neither one wished to concede to the other. Robert had resigned himself to trying to fall asleep in the chilly atmosphere when a knock broke them from their thoughts. Cora looked at him in surprise.

"Who is it?"

"Carson, my Lady," came the muffled reply. "May I come in?"

Robert moved to put on his dressing gown and waited at the door until Cora had hers before he opened the door to the butler. "Is everything alright, Carson?"

"No, it is not, my Lord. May I come in?" he repeated. Robert ushered him into the room where he stood awkwardly between the Lord and Lady of the house.

"What is it, Carson?" Cora asked when he remained silent.

The butler looked uncomfortably between Her Ladyship and His Lordship before hesitatingly saying, "I've had a visit from Lady Mary this evening..."

"And?" Robert prompted. "What's so unusual about that?"

Carson grimaced. "She asked me about," he looked askance at Cora, "about her father. I told her the truth."

"What?" Robert bellowed. He threw off Cora's hand and advanced menacingly towards the butler. "What right did you have to tell her that?"

"I will not lie to her," Carson declared drawing himself to his full height. "She told me that she had found out about it when she heard you say that you would not fight to break the entail because she was not your daughter."

An awful silence fell on the room as the Earl and his butler stared each other down. Feelings of betrayal and jealousy Robert had long thought buried resurfaced tenfold at the defiant look on Carson's face. He had forgiven Cora her indiscretion long ago. It had happened in the beginning of their marriage when Robert himself had paid her very little attention. He had thought he had forgiven Carson, but looking at the man now Robert didn't know why he still employed him.

"You had no right to tell _my daughter_ such a lie," he growled.

"I have told no lie," Carson held his head higher and looked down his nose at the Earl. "I wouldn't have had to tell her anything if you hadn't said anything in the first place."

Robert was taken aback by his butler's defiance. Carson was the model servant. He deferred to his betters in everything he did. Now he was openly defying His Lordship. Robert had had enough.

"You will leave tonight."

"Robert! You can't-"

"Yes I can," Robert cut Cora off. "You will leave my house immediately and you will never come back. Is that clear, Carson?"

Robert had the satisfaction of watching Carson deflate. The butler had not expected to be kicked out of the House in the middle of the night. A flash of fear crossed his face before he masked it in anger once more. "Very well, my Lord."

Carson turned on his heel leaving Robert and Cora alone once more. Fuming, Robert climbed into bed and turned out his light not waiting for his still shocked wife to join him. Cora could only look at him in despair.

"Oh Robert, what have you done?"


	2. Chapter 2

Mrs. Hughes made her way swiftly down the stairs to her sitting room. She vaguely noticed that the noise level of the downstairs was louder than usual, but she assumed Mr. Carson would take care of it soon enough. He hated noise before breakfast. Right now she needed to find the cleaning rota she had left on her desk last night. Her maids needed to know which rooms to attend to today before the family awoke.

She closed her door on the kerfuffle with a sigh. It was blessedly quiet in her room and she allowed herself a small smile as she walked to her desk scanning for the book. To her surprise, she found a great many books on her desk with a letter on top of them. A closer look told her they were Mr. Carson's account books and his closely guarded wine ledger. She frowned in confusion. What on earth were these doing in her sitting room?

She picked up the letter with her name on it in Mr. Carson's hand and opened it. She had only read a few sentences before she was grasping blindly for her chair. She sat with a heavy thud as she read through the note twice more, barely believing a word she read.

 _Dear Mrs. Hughes,_

 _I am sorry to leave you so suddenly short-handed, but circumstances have dictated that I must leave the Abbey tonight. I am uncertain when I will return. His Lordship and Her Ladyship know of my departure._

 _I must leave you in charge of my accounts and the wine cellar. Thomas and William should be able to handle things in my absence as long as only the family are in attendance at meal times. I have left instructions for them on the back of this note._

 _I apologize again for leaving the running of the household to you, but I am certain that it cannot be in better hands. I will write as soon as my situation becomes clear._

 _Yours,_

 _C. Carson_

Mrs. Hughes sat open mouthed for a moment more. She could not imagine what circumstances would take Mr. Carson away from the Abbey in the middle of the night. Every situation she imagined was more far-fetched than the last. She shook herself out of such thoughts and left her sitting room for the butler's pantry hoping to find the man there. This had to be some elaborate prank.

To her dismay, Mr. Carson's pantry was cold and empty. All his personal things were gone; his books, his prized fountain pen, even his mounted fish. She closed the door and began to make her way up to the attic rooms. She didn't want to believe that he was really gone. Why on earth would the man just up and leave?

She stopped one of the footmen on the stairs to ask if he had seen Mr. Carson.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Hughes, but I haven't." William looked at her oddly as she bit her lip. "Is everything alright?"

"Of course," she clipped. "Go on about your work now, William."

She moved swiftly up to the attics and then through the door to the men's quarters. She knocked briskly on Mr. Carson's bedroom door. When no answer was forthcoming, she knocked again calling, "Mr. Carson?"

Still no reply. Mrs. Hughes hesitated a moment more before she pushed open the door and looked around. What little hope she had that Mr. Carson had not left vanished. Where his pantry downstairs had changed little with the removal of his things, his bedroom looked like it had been ransacked. His bed was still made but that was the only thing left in place. His wardrobe doors were standing open and the drawers of his writing table were left out. Mr. Carson had obviously packed in a great hurry.

Mrs. Hughes felt her legs giving out and moved farther into the room to sink onto the edge of the bed. She reread Mr. Carson's note she still clutched in her hand trying to think of a reason why he had left. None of this made sense, but he was truly gone. She looked around the room hopelessly.

A flash of light at the base of the wardrobe caught her eye. Curious, she moved over to investigate. She bent down and picked up a single cuff link. It was one of a pair Mr. Carson wore during special events. He must have left it in his haste. Mrs. Hughes clinched her hand around it hard feeling the metal bite into her flesh. Mr. Carson would be looking for this. She could mail it to him when he wrote. She looked around the room once more. Her face hardened and in a fit of anger, she hurled the cuff link across the room.

 _Damn him!_ She thought as she stormed out of the room. _He could come find it himself!_

 **A/N I'm hoping to update this regularly. I kind of broke my own rule in posting this story before I had the majority of it written. So I doubt the updates will be up as fast as this one. Thank you for the reviews. I like to hear what people think.**


	3. Chapter 3

Cora knocked gently on the door and then peered around it into the bedroom. There her eldest daughter lay on the bed with her back to the door. Cora closed the door behind her taking in her daughter's dishevelled state. Mary had not changed from her evening clothes from the day before and her hair looked a tangled mess. Cora's heart hurt for her daughter.

"Go away, Mama. I don't want to look at you right now."

Cora had expected anger, tears at the very least, but not this cold nothingness that seemed to have engulfed Mary. Cora sat gingerly on the edge of the bed stretching her hand out toward Mary's back, but not touching. "You don't have to look at me, but I will ask that you might listen."

"Why should I?"

"Because there is something very important I want you to understand." When Mary remained silent, Cora continued, "Your Papa-"

"Which one?" Mary scoffed. Cora took a moment to compose herself.

"Your Papa is who he's always been. He loves you and always has, no matter what happened between Carson and me."

"Of course he does," Marry spat finally turning to look at her mother with fire in her eyes. "That's why he's challenging the entail!"

Mary leapt from the bed to stand arms-crossed to stare out of the window. "At least now I know why neither of my parents want me to inherit Downton. Papa because I'm a servant's bastard and you because of Pamuk." She laughed humorlessly turning back toward the room. "It's funny. Now that I know what I do about you I don't see why you were so shocked about Pamuk. You're worse than I am. Nothing but a cheap American whore!"

Cora had sat almost passively throughout Mary's tirade, but her eyes had turned to ice at those last words. She did not move from her seat on the bed, but when Mary looked to her she realized she had crossed a line she wasn't even aware had existed. Mary held her breath waiting for the explosion she knew was to come.

But it did not come. Instead, Cora turned her head to look across the room and began to speak calmly.

"It's true that when you're father and I first married, there was no love lost between us. We both knew why we had married. He had married me for my money and I him to get away from America. We liked each other's company well enough, but in those first years of our marriage there was no great romance."

"That still doesn't explain Carson."

At this Cora began to look ashamed. "I was lonely, Mary."

Mary's face wrinkled in disgust, but Cora continued anyway.

"I was alone in a new country. I had no friends and no one to care what I did. Most days I spent alone in this house. Your grandparents were always off visiting friends or managing estate affairs. Your father spent as little time with me as possible. Even the servants were borderline disrespectful. To them and everyone else I was the American heiress who had sold herself for an English title. Everyone except for Carson."

"So you seduced him?" Mary sneered.

Cora looked across the room again for a long moment before she turned back to meet Mary's eyes. "Yes."

Silence fell on them as Mary processed this new information about her mother. She hadn't thought her capable of seducing any man nevermind straight-laced Carson. She was trying to find a way to ask how it had happened when Cora spoke again.

"I'm not proud of what happened, but I can't be sorry that it did. It gave me you." She smiled wistfully. "Your Papa loved you as soon as he saw you and in time, he came to love me as well. I am sorry that you found out the way you did. Perhaps I should have told you years ago, but I had hoped to spare you this. I suppose it was naive of us to think we could keep it a secret forever. The truth always seems to find its way out eventually."

Cora stood from the bed to ring the bell for Anna. "You should bathe and change before you come down to luncheon."

Mary groaned. "I don't think I can stand being in the same room as both Papa and Carson."

Cora looked down guiltily. "You'll only have to worry about your Papa. Carson was sent away last night."

 **A/N Thanks for sticking with this story. Let me know what you think if you have the time.**


	4. Chapter 4

The click of the rails as the train sped towards London drew Carson deeper into his own head. He spared a thought for his rudeness to his fellow travelers, but he couldn't be bothered to speak of inane things when his life had been ripped from him. So he had sequestered himself in a corner far from the other passengers with his hat pulled low over his eyes. Most had taken the hint and left him alone, but for one man who had tried to engage him in conversation. The man had finally given up when Carson failed to give more than monosyllabic replies.

After His Lordship had banished him from the Abbey, Carson had packed his things in haste and left for the village. It had been so late by the time he had walked into Downton Village that he had had to awaken the landlord of the Grantham Arms for a room to stay the night. Carson had tried his best to concoct a lie to cover his sudden arrival, but he was sure that Mr. Lawson hadn't believed a word of it. He had paid double for the room and stayed the night in the dingy pub.

Unable to sleep, Carson had paced the room til morning when he left (waking the already irate Mr. Lawson) to catch the early train to London. Throughout the night, Carson had only been able to think of the gossip his sudden departure from the Abbey would cause. He hadn't wanted to face the Village busybodies and thought that leaving York altogether would be the better course of action.

Carson had not expected leaving Downton Abbey again could be worse than the first time, but it was. He had not felt so low since Lord Grantham had first found out about his and Lady Grantham's affair when Mary was five-years-old. His Lordship had sent him away then, too. His lack of reference had forced him to find work where he could until he had ended up in the dance halls. He had thought the job as humiliating then as he did now, but he had been starving. A man will do almost anything if he is starving.

Luckily for Carson, Lady Grantham had prevailed upon His Lordship's goodwill to hire him back as under butler to old Mr. Finch. Carson would be forever grateful to Her Ladyship for saving him from the halls. Carson had agreed to Lord Grantham's every condition about his return without question. He had kept every one of those conditions until last night.

Carson felt his chest tighten remembering the look on Lady Mary's face when he had told her that she was his natural daughter. He had always been content with their relationships as butler and daughter of the house. They had been close, closer than he was with either Lady Edith or Lady Sybil, and he had flattered himself that Lady Mary had looked to him as a second father. That dream had been shattered last night.

He clenched his fists and let his guilt rush through him. How he hated himself for those few afternoons spent in Lady Grantham's bed. He had been Lord Grantham's valet then and the betrayal of his master had gnawed at his insides until he had been the one to end the affair, but not before Her Ladyship was already with child. She had then taken Lord Grantham to bed for the first time since the beginning of their marriage. Carson could still feel the nerves he felt whenever he had been in His Lordship's presence until the baby was born. Both men had fallen instantly in love with the girl. He smiled wistfully at the memory.

The train jolted to a stop. Carson looked up finally to see that they were already in London. He exited the train with the others and made his way out of the station. He stood still for a moment weighing his options. He had more connections now than when he had been a valet and he had a reputation as an outstanding butler. Even without a reference he should be able to find a job in a smaller house and he would need to find a job soon. His savings wouldn't keep him up for long.

Carson picked up his bags and began to walk down the street until he realized he had been walking towards Grantham House. He stared longingly down the road and then turned on his heel to walk the other direction. There was no need to remind himself of what he had lost.

 **A/N I hope this chapter answered some questions some guest reviewers have had. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

Robert read through the letter once more before he signed his name and sealed it to be mailed later in the day. He leaned back from his desk with a sigh and scowled thinking over the events of last night. Cora had scolded him about his hasty decision to sack Carson. She had told him he would come to regret it not just for the Abbey but for Mary, too. Robert grimaced at the thought of having to tell Mary he had sacked Carson. She had loved the man before she knew he was her natural father. What would she do now that she knew?

Still, Robert couldn't be sorry about sending the man away. Carson had agreed that he would never tell a soul about the whole business and especially never tell Mary. Robert couldn't think what had possessed the man to do so last night. He had spent almost 15 years in silence in the matter. Surely he could've come up with some lie when Mary had gone to him last night. Robert scoffed at Carson's excuse of never lying to Mary. Carson had been lying to her for over twenty years. Now Robert was supposed to think he had suddenly grown a conscience? Not likely.

Then there was Mrs. Hughes to deal with. Carson had left her some note before he left and she had come to Cora's bedroom first thing. Robert had let Cora tell her that Carson was unlikely to return. She hadn't given any details nor blamed anyone for the butler's departure. Robert had glared at her when she had insinuated that Carson had left for an emergency. He doubted Mrs. Hughes had believed a word of it. She kept looking at him shrewdly throughout Cora's explanation. Robert only hoped she wouldn't dig any deeper into the story.

The library door opened and Robert turned to see Mary standing timidly just inside the room. Robert stood from his seat and began to walk towards her but stopped when she shrank back from him. They looked at each other uncertainly. Robert had never seen his eldest child so nervous.

"Mary?"

She seemed to steel herself and offered him a flippant smile. "I was just coming to ask if you would care for a short walk before luncheon?"

"Of course. Just let me get my coat."

* * *

Robert and Mary walked away from the house in silence. Robert watched his daughter surreptitiously, noting how she kept her eyes trained on the ground. She had yet to say anything, and Robert thought to let her speak first. He felt like he no longer knew how to act around her. He still thought of her as his daughter. She always would be as far as he was concerned, but he didn't know how he could begin to tell her that.

When they came to a bench beneath a tree Mary paused and gestured vaguely to it. "Shall we sit?"

Robert nodded and waited for Mary to sit before he settled himself beside her. They both looked out over the estate grounds in a tense silence. Robert watched Mary from the corner of his eye. She looked as if she were barely holding herself together. Robert wanted nothing more than to comfort his daughter but he didn't know if he should. She had every right to hate him for lying to her all these years. At the time, he had agreed with Cora that keeping Mary's father a secret was the right thing to do but seeing her now he wasn't so sure.

Robert felt Mary stiffen beside him before she turned to him.

"Papa-," she glanced uncertainly at him, "am I still allowed to call you Papa?"

"Of course, you are, my darling daughter." Robert felt his eyes grow wet at the relief that flashed across Mary's face. He reached for her hand to grip it tightly. "I will always be your Papa."

Mary ducked her head and said nothing more. Robert was content to let her gather her thoughts and leaned back into the bench bringing her hand still grasped in his to rest on his knee. Much as he hoped that this was all the reassurance that Mary would need in his love for her, he doubted that his few words would be enough. What words could describe the love he had felt when Cora had first nervously placed Mary in his arms? She had been so small and so perfect and so absolutely marvelous that his heart had immediately been hers. Nothing had changed that, even when Cora had finally told him of her affair with Carson. Mary was still his first born daughter and he loved her dearly.

"You're the only one who hasn't stuck up for me with the entail," Mary said suddenly, eyes still on her lap. "Is it because of Carson?"

"No, it isn't because of Carson." Robert sighed and pulled at Mary's hand until she looked up at him. "Mary, you are my darling daughter, and I love you, hard as it is for an Englishman to say it. If I had made my own fortune and bought Downton for myself, it should be yours without question. But I did not. My fortune is the work of others who labored to build a great dynasty. Do I have the right to destroy their work or impoverish that dynasty? I am a custodian, my dear, not an owner. I must strive to be worthy of the task I've been set. If I could take Mama's money out of the estate, Downton would have to be sold to pay for it. Is that what you want?" *****

Mary shook her head faintly, "No. I don't want that."

"All I want is for you to be happy. You would have been happy here at Downton if everything had worked out with Patrick, and I would have been glad to think of you running Downton after I am gone."

"But that's all gone now," Mary scoffed.

"There's always Matthew."

Mary laughed, "I can't marry Matthew now!"

"Why not?" Robert asked, but she only shook her head sadly.

"Do you think Carson will come back?" She asked, suddenly shy.

Robert looked at her thoughtfully. "Do you want him to?"

"He came back before," she said ignoring his question. "Why was that?"

"Your Mama asked it of me," Robert answered simply, sure of his daughter's next words.

Mary looked at him pleadingly, "And if I asked it of you?"

 **A/N** *** I took Robert's little speech almost verbatim from season 1 episode 4 of Downton Abbey. I changed or left things out when I needed. Anything you recognize isn't mine, but Julian Fellowes'.**


	6. Chapter 6

Mrs. Hughes slammed her sitting room door and cursed every deity she could think of - foriegn and domestic - for giving her Mrs. Patmore as a cook. She could kill the woman! With Mr. Carson gone, they were the two most senior members of staff. Surely, they could work together for the good of the House. But no, Mrs. Patmore had only taken the opportunity to try to connive her way into custody of the storeroom key. Well, it wasn't going to happen on Mrs. Hughes's watch. She'd die before she ever let that happen!

With a growl she stormed over to her desk and tossed down the pile of letters she had been carrying before she had been accosted by the cook. She threw herself into her chair and closed her eyes. It had been almost two weeks since Mr. Carson had left suddenly and things were beginning to fall apart. She had run the House without him before but usually if Mr. Carson wasn't in residence then neither were the family. As it was now, she was doing everything she could just to keep the House from falling down around their ears!

No one had heard a word from the butler since he had left. Mrs. Hughes still wasn't sure what had happened that night that had sent Mr. Carson away. Lady Grantham had only told her of some vague emergency that had required the butler's presence elsewhere, but Lord Grantham's stony silence had spoken of a different story. His scowl had grown deeper with every mention of the butler's name. It was surprising coming from the man who had always had such a close working relationship with his butler. Mrs. Hughes couldn't help but think that there'd been a falling out between the Earl and his butler. By that afternoon though, Lord Grantham seemed to have forgotten his anger. He'd even gone so far as to instruct Mrs. Hughes that he was to be told as soon as there was any word from Mr. Carson.

Mrs. Hughes rubbed her hand over her eyes and turned to the letters on her desk. She glanced at her clock. With any luck she could get through the bulk of the correspondence before she was needed upstairs for luncheon. She began sorting them in order of importance when she came across one whose handwriting she would recognize anywhere. Not bothering with a letter opener, she broke the seal of the envelope and withdrew the letter. She read it through twice quickly and then leaned back bewildered into her chair.

Mr. Carson had written to her from London. For a moment, she wondered why he would be there when she couldn't recall him ever mentioning any family in London before. This only served to confirm her theory that Lady Grantham's explanation had not been entirely truthful. Most of Mr. Carson's letter was filled with niceties and inquiries after the family. Only in the last few lines did he give any hint at what he was doing in London. Mr. Carson had found a job at a hotel there. Why would he need a job when he was still the butler at Downton Abbey? Nothing Mrs. Hughes had been told was adding up. He had left for a family emergency, but he had gone to London where he had no family. And his letter mentioned no such reason for his having left. She read his letter again. His questions about the house and family seemed almost desperate. He wrote as if he had no intention of coming back to Downton. The letter read like a man coming to terms with banishment from his home. Mrs. Hughes gasped. Had Mr. Carson been sacked?

* * *

"What is it, Robert?" Cora asked looking exasperatedly across the room. She had been working on her needle point while Robert read his papers in companionable silence until Robert's sighs had become unbearable. Cora looked over at her husband sternly hoping he would confide in her, but he only sighed once again.

"It's nothing."

Robert turned his attention back to his papers and Cora let him. He would tell her what was on his mind soon enough. Besides this was the first quiet moment they had spent together since Carson had been sent away and she was enjoying it.

After their afternoon walk on the first day of Carson's absence, Robert and Mary had each gone off to sulk on their own. They had both stayed away from the rest of the family preferring to spend hours alone. If Cora hadn't known any better she could easily believe that the two of them were actually father and daughter.

With Robert and Mary each lost in their own heads, it had fallen to Cora to excuse their odd behavior to Edith and Sybil without telling them the reason why. Sybil, of course, had only wanted to help her father and sister and had taken it upon herself to try to cheer them up whenever she could. Edith, on the other hand, was only looking for ammunition to use against Mary. Not for the first time, Cora wished she had less belligerent daughters. The past few weeks had seen her break up more than a few fights between her two eldest children.

Another long sigh from Robert and Cora moved across the room to her husband's armchair. She pulled his papers from his hands and set them aside to look down at him shrewdly. "Tell me what bothering you, darling."

"Oh my dear," he said pulling her down to sit in his lap. He wrapped his arms tightly around her as she drew his head to rest against her breast. Cora carded her fingers through the hair on his temple, letting him collect himself. They sat entangled together until Robert began to speak. "I don't know what to do, Cora. I don't know what to do about Carson."

Cora hummed in sympathy. She had wondered when they would finally talk about the butler. Robert had been decidedly mum with her on the subject of Carson since he'd sacked him in the middle of the night. Cora had learned snippets of his and Mary's conversation from Mary, but she wasn't privy to it all. Mary had told her that Robert had agreed to bring Carson back for Mary's sake. Cora had been shocked that Robert had agreed so readily remembering his anger from that night. Robert had said very little about this decision except to inform the staff that he was to be told of any news of Carson. She placed a kiss to his head. "You promised Mary you would bring him back. Did you not mean it?"

"Of course, I meant it!" he snapped. Cora recoiled from him and he looked up apologetically. "I'm sorry. I do mean to bring Carson back to Downton. I just think it would be unwise to have him work at the Abbey again."

Cora was confused. "What do you mean?"

Robert sighed once again. "Now that Mary knows Carson is her father, having him live and work here is a recipe for disaster. You know she will want to spend more time with him now, and I don't resent that, truly, but someone will be bound to find out. If that happens, Mary will be ruined. You would be a laughing stock. I couldn't bear for that to happen to either of you."

Cora felt tears form in her eyes as she looked at Robert's worried face. He was such a good man. Even in his hurt he cared for Mary as his own. Cora thanked God every day that Robert had forgiven her indiscretion and accepted Mary. "What would you do with him if he's not to be butler here anymore?

"That's just it," Robert said hugging her tightly to him once more. "I had thought perhaps retirement. He could come back and live on the estate, but he's not yet sixty. I'm afraid that will raise too many awkward questions, but I can think of no other alternative. There isn't even a place for him in the village."

"Or is there?" Cora said sitting up suddenly. She had just had the most bizarre idea, but it might be the answer to their problem. She would have to be careful how she put it to Robert. "Isn't Bruce leaving the Dower House?" *****

"Bruce?" Robert asked not following. "Mama's butler?"

"Yes," she said simply. "Mama said Bruce is going to leave soon."

Robert's face turned to stone as he realized what she was saying. He pushed Cora from his lap and walked agitatedly across the room. He turned back to growl warningly, "Cora."

She cut him off. "Hear me out, Robert. Making Carson the butler of the Dower House is the best option we have if he isn't to work here. He'll be close to Downton but not close enough to be a threat."

"Not a threat? Are you mad?" Robert hissed. "What will we tell Mama? She won't believe any story we might tell her. She'll be bound to find out the truth!"

"I'm not sure that it will matter if she does," Cora reasoned stepping closer to her husband. "Mama loves Mary and she's always been fond of Carson."

Robert snorted in disbelief. "Yes, but will she still feel that way when she learns that Carson is Mary's father?"

A small cough drew their attention to the open door in which stood Mrs. Hughes. She looked uncertainly between the Lord and Lady before she stepped into the room closing the door behind her.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Your Lordship, Your Ladyship."

Cora was the first to recover and tried to smile warmly at the housekeeper. "That's quite all right, Mrs. Hughes. Was there something you needed?"

Mrs. Hughes glanced quickly at Robert before focusing on Cora. "I've had a letter from Mr. Carson, my Lady. His Lordship had asked to be informed as soon as anyone had heard from him."

Robert cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Indeed. What did Carson have to say for himself?"

"He's in London, my Lord," Mrs. Hughes said holding out a letter for Robert, "working in an hotel."

"The Waldorf! ****** " Robert exclaimed, quickly skimming the letter. He folded it and gave it back to Mrs. Hughes glancing worriedly at his wife. "Thank you, Mrs. Hughes. That will be all."

Dismissed, the housekeeper hurriedly left the room leaving Robert and Cora in an awkward silence.

"Do you suppose there's any chance she didn't hear anything?" Robert asked.

"How could she have not?"

 **A/N Thanks to Edward Carson for helping me get this chapter finished and readable.**

 **I know this update was a long time coming. I'm not going to abandon this fanfic. It's just going to take me a bit longer to write. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story so far. I really appreciate all of the reviews.**

 *** Alastair Bruce played Violet's unnamed butler in the first season, so I borrowed his name.**

 **** Even in exile Carson's going to go for the best. He's not gonna work in some second rate establishment and even without a reference I think he could pull off getting a job there.**


	7. Chapter 7

Mary

Mary walked slowly down the high street of Downton Village, enjoying her time away from the Abbey. She had loved the Abbey, been proud that it was her home, that it would always be her home when she became the future Countess of Grantham. Now though, she could barely stand to be inside its cloying walls. Everything about it reminded her that she didn't truly belong there. She felt an imposter and she hated it.

Mama was not helping matters. Almost every moment Mary spent at home lately had seen her mother hovering nervously over her shoulder. Mary still wasn't sure what she felt towards her Mama. She felt betrayed above all else and angry. How could Mama do something so stupid! To have a child with a servant!

And Carson. Mary had loved Carson dearly. He had been her refuge from nannies and governesses, dried her tears when she was hurt, and bolstered her confidence when her own fell short. He had been her strongest support, always. She had always been curious why he was so fond of her, but now it all made sense.

But to think of Carson and Mama… Mary wrinkled her nose in disgust. She couldn't help but think that her Mama was to blame in all of this. She couldn't imagine Carson abandoning his strict adherence to the rules in this way. He was Carson for God's sake! Everything he did _had_ to be done properly.

"Cousin Mary!"

Mary looked behind her to find Cousin Matthew beaming at her from his bicycle. She smiled at him, welcome of the distraction from her thoughts. He pulled next to her to dismount and walk alongside her.

"I'm glad I've run into you here."

"Oh?" Mary asked flippantly. "Why is that?"

"I wanted to apologize again." At Mary's questioning look he went on, "For not finding a way to break the entail."

"Oh, I'm over that!" Mary laughed humorlessly. "I know now that there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it."

"Still," he said earnestly, pulling her to a stop with him. "It's frightfully unfair. I wish there was something I could do. You've seemed so downcast. I thought perhaps you were angry with me. And I couldn't stand for you to be angry with me."

Mary held his unwavering gaze for a long moment. How had she never realised how blue his eyes were? She blinked.

"I'm sorry if I've made you think I am angry with you. I can assure you that I am not."

"I'm glad."

They smiled shyly at each other and began to walk along the street again. They soon passed Crawley House and Matthew still walked beside her.

"Weren't you on your way home?" Mary asked.

"I was," Matthew shrugged, "but I thought I might walk a while with you. That is, if you're agreeable."

Mary smiled slyly at him from the corner of her eye. "I suppose I am."

Violet and Cora

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company? I assume that this isn't a social call."

Cora was having tea at the Dower House with her mother-in-law. It was unusual, and they both knew it. The two women did not share a close bond. They had come together for the first time to try to fight the entail, but now that it was clear the estate was going to Matthew Cora had no reason to be taking tea with her mother-in-law today.

Cora was, in fact, on a mission of sorts. She had convinced Robert of the wisdom of making Carson the new Dower House butler. Cora didn't agree with all of Robert's reasonings but keeping Carson away from the big House seemed to be for the best. So she had come here to talk to Violet while Robert went to London to find Carson. Cora had been wondering how she was to bring up the issue of Carson when Violet had bluntly opened a door for her.

"I came to see how your plans for finding a new butler were coming along. After Bruce leaves."

Violet scoffed. "As well as you'd expect. Why do you ask?"

Cora placed her teacup delicately on the table. "Have you found anyone yet?"

"No," Violet said simply, narrowing her eyes at her daughter-in-law. Cora almost withered under the older woman's gaze but remembered why she was here - for Mary and Robert - straightened her spine and looked Violet in the eye.

"I may have found you a new butler, then."

"Oh? Who is it, might I ask?"

Cora gulped imperceptibly and said, "Carson."

Violet was rarely ever surprised and even when she was she was loathe to admit it. Even now, taken aback as she was, she managed to control her astonishment through sheer force of will. Carson was the last person she would ever consider working as her butler. As far as she knew, the man had planned on dying at the Abbey. She didn't think he would leave his position as butler to Lord Grantham for the world.

"What's wrong with Carson? Is he ill?" she asked suddenly throwing Cora off her guard.

"What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with him."

Violet would not be put off so easily. "Then why are you suggesting he leave the Abbey to work here?"

Cora sputtered trying to remember the explanation she and Robert had come up with before she had come here. "Well, he's getting older. It won't be as hard on him here as at the Abbey. There would be less duties, but he would still be a proficient butler."

"If Carson's getting older then I'm practically ancient! Where are you going to put me when I'm no longer useful?"

"That isn't it. We just want Carson to be comfortable and working at the Abbey is becoming too much for him," Cora tried to reason.

"Why don't I believe you?"

Cora had thought she had been prepared for everything her mother-in-law could throw at her. She had been dealing with her for the last twenty odd years. But she had not expected Violet's barrage of questions. She was still struggling to come up with a reply when a flash of understanding crossed Violet's face causing Cora's stomach to turn.

"That's why they've both been moping about the estate. She's found out then," Violet stated matter-of-factly.

Cora felt her jaw drop. "What?"

Violet rolled her eyes. "Mary's found out that Carson is her father. That's why she and Robert have been sulking about. And presumably why you now want Carson to work for me?"

"You knew!" Cora gasped. Out of all of the possible outcomes of her conversation with Violet this had not been one she expected.

"Of course, I knew, my dear." she said taking a sip of her tea. "Did you think I didn't?"

Cora could only blink stupidly at the woman across from her. "But if you knew, why did you want to fight the entail?"

"Legally, Mary is Robert's daughter, no matter your...indiscretion," Violet sneered. "Robert has accepted her as his own so who was I to disagree? And… Mary is my granddaughter, I love her."

Cora stared in awe at Violet, feeling tears gather in her eyes. She had never known how deeply Violet cared about her family before now. "Thank you for that."

"Now," Violet sniffed putting the sentimental moment behind her. "This business about Carson. He cannot work here."

"What? Whyever not?" Cora could barely keep up with Violet's sudden change in direction.

"He cannot work here because he doesn't belong here. He belongs at the Abbey."

"If he stays at the Abbey, someone is bound to find out," Cora fretted. "I'm afraid Mrs. Hughes might already suspect something. Isn't it too dangerous to keep him so close?"

"You've kept him close for the past twenty years. What's so different now?"

"I suppose you're right. Robert won't like it though." The two women shared a conspiratorial smirk. Cora's smiled faded as a thought struck her. "You're not angry with me then? About Carson?"

Violet contemplated her daughter-in-law shrewdly for a long moment. "Not anymore."

Robert

Robert strode through Hyde Park with a face like thunder. Everyone he passed lowered their eyes and hurried past him not wanting to incur the wrath of the apparently vengeful man. Robert failed to notice his impact on his fellow park goers he was so far lost in his thoughts.

After Mrs. Hughes had told him of Carson's whereabouts, Robert had taken the last train to London. He had arrived in the city agitated and had left Bates to settle in at the club while he had gone straight to the Waldorf to find his errant butler. Robert felt bile rise up in his throat at the welcome he had received. He had not even been able to see Carson. Robert had been informed that Mr. Carson was "working" and could not see His Lordship, perhaps they could arrange meet another time. Only the thought of making a scene had kept Robert from demanding that he see the man at once. He had settled for leaving a note requesting that they meet in Hyde Park the next day.

Robert arrived at the Peter Pan statue and looked around for Carson. Not finding him, Robert found a nearby bench and sat down. He clenched his fists in anger. Even now, Carson was making him wait. He had half a mind to leave and forget he had ever come to London.

But he had promised Mary he would bring Carson home. Robert drew in a deep breath willing himself to calm. His anger would not help him convince Carson that he was needed back at Downton. He was doing this for Mary, Robert thought. He would do this for his daughter.

Glancing around at the people walking, Robert closed his eyes and leaned back to let his mind wander. When Cora had first told him she was expecting, he had been surprised. He hadn't thought they had been together often enough to cause her condition, but he had had no reason to suspect her of infidelity. In fact, he had not been wholly virtuous in those first months of their marriage. So he had been surprised but happy, and when Mary had arrived he had fallen hopelessly in love. She had been such a perfect baby that it was all he could do to look upon her in wonder. He had never loved someone as he did her before.

He watched Mary grow with pride, and loving her so deeply had helped him fall in love with Cora. By the time Edith had been born, he and Cora had found their great romance in each other. He loved his girls though his English upbringing keep him from showing it overtly.

But that niggling doubt still lingered. He had been afraid to ask Cora, afraid that he would not like her answer, and so had kept his doubts to himself. A year after Sybil was born, when he had assumed the title of Lord Grantham Robert gathered the courage to ask Cora if Mary was indeed his daughter.

And she had told him. Everything.

Robert remembers clearly the stunned silence in which he had sat and listened to Cora's tearful admission. He had felt betrayed, not only by his wife, but by his own man. Carson had been Robert's valet since he had returned from university. To learn that he had had an affair with Cora was the ultimate betrayal in Robert's eyes. Robert's anger had burned fast and hot. He couldn't believe that his Cora had been unfaithful, conveniently forgetting his own transgressions. He spent the night in his dressing room for the first time since the beginning of their marriage.

He had sacked Carson the next morning with no explanation. It had left him without a valet, but the look of shock on the man's face had been satisfying to Robert's bruised ego. He had been deaf to both Cora's pleas and Mary's tears. The five-year-old girl had not understood why her favorite Carson was leaving. Her cries for Carson had only infuriated Robert more.

If it hadn't been for the calming influence of then butler Finch, Robert and Cora's marriage might well have ended. Finch had stepped in as valet and in that calming way he had, had drawn the problem from Robert. The butler hadn't even blinked when Robert told him the sordid tale of his wife and his valet. Finch had only looked at him shrewdly and then reminded him of his own actions during the first of his marriage. Chagrinned, Robert accepted the truth in the butler's words.

But Robert was stubborn and, like his mother, he was loathe to admit when he was wrong. Four months of strained dinners and separate sleeping quarters would pass before he began to thaw towards Cora. They began a tentative courtship again. They had finally come to forgive each other when disaster struck.

Finch had fallen suddenly ill and was forced to retire. Robert was forced to look for a new butler with little success. No one he interviewed was right for the job. He became angry with himself when he realized why. He was looking for Carson. Carson had been training to become Finch's successor, but Carson had betrayed Robert and been sacked. Robert didn't even know if the man was still alive.

When he had mentioned his frustration to Cora, she had leapt onto the idea of Carson as their butler. At every opportunity she had lobbied for Carson until Robert had questioned why she wanted him back. Mary was still missing Carson and Cora thought that bringing him back would be better for her. She told Robert that Carson's connection to the family would make him trustworthy. After a brief argument, Cora convinced him that Carson would be perfect for the job, and Robert began the search for him.

When Carson was found, Robert sent for him. Carson had entered the meeting with His Lordship apprehensively. Robert had taken a moment to enjoy the man's newfound humility, soon put him out of his misery. He had offered Carson the position of butler on a set of conditions. The desperation that had flashed through Carson's eyes at the offer still haunted Robert. Carson had accepted the terms and taken up the job of butler of Downton Abbey.

Robert had grown to accept Carson in his house, going so far as to even become friendly with him. Their love of Mary was one thing they both had in common and it drew them closer. Carson had kept all of his promises to Robert when he had come back to Downton and Robert had been content to trust his family to him. He had never thought that Carson would betray that trust again and tell Mary about her true parentage.

Robert felt a looming shadow fall over him. He kept his eyes closed until whomever it was cleared their throat. He looked up to see Carson standing proudly before him. Robert felt his jaw clinch in anger. Did the man have no shame?

"You wished to speak with me, my Lord?"

 **A/N Thanks to those of you who have stuck with this story.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Carson**

Carson set the box of his belongings heavily onto his desk in his pantry. He looked around the room glad to be back at the Abbey. _But will it last?_

Carson had wished to slip quietly through the servant's door and into his pantry without a fuss. He had been disappointed but mildly gratified that his return had marked so kindly by his colleagues. Everyone seemed relieved of his return, except for Thomas which was to be expected. The boy had been all but acting butler was Carson was gone.

After sending a hall boy with his suitcase to his room, Carson had managed to escape the barrage of questions into the quiet of his pantry. The room felt empty with all of his personal things packed away in the box on his desk. He sighed and sank into his chair.

Carson was still trying to come to terms with the events of the past few days. He had believed until recently that he would be spending the rest of his days away from Downton, away from home. But then Lord Grantham had requested a meeting with him. He had been shocked, thought it might be a cruel trick, but had gone to the park anyway.

Seeing Lord Grantham sitting on that bench had caused his heart to leap into his throat. He had not dared hope that His Lordship's presence meant that he might be allowed to return home. He had stood patiently waiting for Lord Grantham to speak, but flinched back when the Earl finally looked up at him with barely concealed anger. When Lord Grantham spoke, however, it was with a calm civility.

"Lady Mary wishes for you to come home."

Lord Grantham had not moved from his seat. The position made Carson feel like a schoolboy about to receive a smack from teacher. Carson barely dared breathe.

"You broke your promise."

"I did, my Lord."

"How can I trust you again?"

Carson had remained silent as Lord Grantham looked up at him in scrutiny. He had no answer for His Lordship. After a few moments of silence, Lord Grantham stood and reached into his breast pocket. He held out a white envelope. Carson took it.

"I promised you would always have a place at Downton." Lord Grantham's eyes narrowed menacingly, "I always keep my promises."

And he had left.

Carson had sat in the vacant bench to open the envelope. Inside was a train ticket to York.

A knock on his door brought Carson back to the present. He stood when he saw Mrs. Hughes walk into his pantry.

"Am I glad to see you," she smiled.

Carson offered her the chair across from him and they both sat. "I hope there weren't many problems while I was away?"

She waved away his concern. "Nothing I couldn't handle."

"I'm sure," he smiled conspiratorially, "but tell me anyway."

They spent the next few minutes discussing the House until it felt as if he'd never been away. Surprisingly, Mrs. Hughes didn't ask him about his time away or even why he had left so suddenly. Carson had been expecting at least a question or two on the subject, but none were forthcoming. He thanked the Lord for small blessings. When they had exhausted the topic of the House, Mrs. Hughes leaned back in her chair and smiled.

"It's good to have you back, Mr. Carson."

Carson stared across his desk at the woman before him and felt the corners of his mouth lift.

"It's good to be back, Mrs. Hughes."

 **Cora**

Cora watched her husband storm off in dismay. Just as she'd expected, he had not taken the news of Mama refusing Carson at all well. She had made the case for Carson remaining butler at the Abbey without mentioning Violet's knowledge of her affair. Mama had wanted to drop that bombshell herself and Cora had been more than happy to let her. Robert had said he was going to the Dower House to talk some sense into his mother. Cora shook her head. He was in for a shock.

Cora looked around her sitting room and sighed. Her eyes fell on the bell pull. Someone needed to tell Carson that he could settle back in permanently, that he wouldn't be going to the Dower House. She doubted Robert would want to tell him and decided to do so herself. Besides, she had missed Carson. She wanted to see him now that he was back. She rang the bell twice for the butler.

It didn't take long for Carson to arrive dressed impeccably in his livery. Especially since he had only arrived back this morning. Cora moved swiftly across the room to stand before him.

"Carson," she smiled placing a hand on his arm. "I hope you've had time to settle back in?"

He nodded. "I have, your Ladyship."

Cora squeezed his arm and smiled again. "Well, you'll be pleased to know that you'll be remaining here. You won't have to go to the Dower House."

A flash of confusion crossed Carson's face and Cora realized her mistake. "The Dower House, my Lady?"

"His Lordship hadn't told you," she murmured clasping her hands in front of her. She looked away. " We had thought it would be best if you were away from the Abbey for a while, but thought better of it."

Cora trailed off at the hurt she saw in the man's eyes. Of course he knew she didn't mean the Abbey. She stepped closer once again and placed her hand on his chest feeling his heartbeat beneath the rough wool of his jacket.

"I'm glad you're home, Carson. Home where you belong."

She smiled at him once more and then left the room before she said something they would both regret.

 **Mary**

Mary glanced around the hallway before slipping quickly through the servant's door. She moved silently down the cold staircase, pulling her dressing gown tightly around her. She hoped Carson had not yet gone to bed.

Mary had been surprised when Papa had brought Carson back from London. Of course, he had promised her that he would, but she had only partly believed him. Both of her fathers were proud men. She couldn't imagine what had been said to get them both back under the same roof.

She reached the bottom of the stairs and felt a wave of relief wash over her at the sight of light pouring out from underneath the door to the butler's pantry. She stepped quietly down the hallway and knocked once, entering the room without waiting for a reply.

Carson was sitting at his desk writing in a ledger of some kind when Mary entered. He only looked up at the sound of the door closing behind Mary. Carson stood from his seat while Mary looked across the room at him with her hand still on the door. She couldn't help but notice the similarities with what had happened in this room two weeks ago. Only now Carson did not move from behind his desk to comfort her.

Mary searched Carson's face for any hint of emotion but found none. She glanced down at her feet before walking determinedly towards Carson, the desk still between them.

"I'm glad I've caught you," she smiled flippantly at him but felt her face fall at his impassive response.

"Was there something you needed, my Lady?"

"I needed to speak with you," she pleaded quietly. For a moment Mary thought she saw a flicker of concern in Carson's eyes. She continued. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I know that it was my fault Papa sent you away."

"No!" Carson held her gaze fiercely. "That was _not_ your fault. _None_ of this was _ever_ your fault."

Mary nodded, grateful for his forgiveness. She hadn't realized until now how terrified she had been that he would hate her.

"But perhaps," Carson began haltingly, "it would be best if you… didn't seek me out as often as you once did."

Mary swallowed hard and looked down at Carson's desk, at the ledger filled with columns of upside-down numbers. She blinked furiously trying to hold back her tears. She smiled back up at him. "Yes, of course. You're right. I'll say goodnight then."

Mary left before he could see the tears falling down her face.

 **A/N Thanks to everyone who is still with this story and all of your reviews!**


	9. Chapter 9

Mary and Matthew

"The light through these windows is quite extraordinary."

"Yes, it is," Matthew breathed watching the way the light fell over Mary's upturned face. He marveled at how her face was even more breathtaking bathed in light and shadow. His eyes followed the rays of sunshine as it sparkled in her eyes, down her slight nose, and farther along the gentle slope of her neck. The sight before him was more beautiful than any he had ever seen.

"Are you even listening to me?" Mary had turned to catch him staring at her. She smiled at him flushing becomingly. Matthew felt his heart soar.

"Of course," he beamed at her eliciting a small giggle. "You were saying that a Mr. Smith donated this window in memory of his beloved wife."

"That's not what I said at all," Mary pouted playfully. "I'm not sure why I even bothered to accompany you. Edith would have made the better partner."

Matthew walked across the church aisle to look down into her eyes. "No, I prefer your company to Edith's, much as I adore your sister."

Mary rolled her eyes and flounced away back to the doorway. "There's no need to lie, Cousin Matthew. We all know Edith is atrocious."

"That's rather unkind," Matthew said catching up to her just inside the church steps. He reached for her hand to turn her towards him. "I've never thought you unkind."

Mary looked up at him disbelievingly. "Then you must not know me very well."

"On the contrary," Matthew whispered lost in Mary's dark eyes. Slowly he leaned towards her feeling his heart beat erratically in his chest and placed a lingering kiss to her lips. When he opened his eyes she was smiling blissfully up at him. "If I thought you would accept, I'd ask you to marry me."

Instantly Mary's smile was gone and she was pulling back from him. "I think it's time we returned home, Cousin Matthew. We mustn't be late for the Flower Show this afternoon."

Mary left him standing in the church wondering where he had gone wrong.

Edith

Edith sat seething at her dressing table. Mary had gone too far this time and Edith had had enough.

Edith had been happy enough to go to the village flower show with her family and watch Granny win yet another award that she hadn't deserved. Although she had been just as surprised as everyone else when Granny had given the Best Bloom Award to Mr. Molesley. She was still floating on the high of the dinner with Sir Anthony Strallan the previous evening. Sir Anthony had been most solicitous of her and she had genuinely enjoyed his company. So much so that Edith had ignored how closely Mary and Cousin Matthew were becoming. Edith realized now that Cousin Matthew had never really been interested in her and any hurt she might have felt had be assuaged by Sir Anthony's attention.

But Mary had never been one let something go.

Before the awards ceremony Mary had cornered Edith to taunt her with Mary and Matthew's church outing. Edith had offered to take Cousin Matthew to see some of the local churches since he had mentioned an interest in the local architecture. He had hesitated to accept until Mary offered to go as well. The two became so absorbed in one another that they forgot Edith was still standing with them. She had merely rolled her eyes at their pathetic attempts at flirting and left them to it. She knew when she was better off to leave well enough alone.

"You seemed to dominate Sir Anthony's time last night," Mary had sneered at her younger sister. "Careful, or he'll think you too desperate."

"I could say the same of you and Cousin Matthew." Edith scoffed. Mary's eyes had narrowed.

"What would you know of anything? With that hat and those clothes it's no wonder Sir Anthony's the only man who would want you." Mary smiled faintly at the flare of anger crossing Edith's face. "Cousin Matthew even mentioned as much on our outing."

Edith had almost given way to her anger at Mary's words when her Granny had called for attention to start the giving of awards. She had instead glared at Mary and Cousin Matthew. She left the village hall early so she wouldn't have to witness anymore of their flirtatious behavior.

Now Edith sat staring at her reflection going over all the wrongs Mary had done to her. The sisters had never gotten along and it had only gotten worse as they grew older and smarter. Edith was sick of always coming in second place. Now though, she had something on Mary that would make sure that never happened again. In fact, Mary would be lucky to escape with only her reputation in shatters.

Edith moved to her small writing desk and pulled out a pen and paper. She had a letter to write to a certain Turkish Ambassador about Mr. Kemal Pamuk. The ambassador had a right to know how his fellow countryman had died, and Edith had the story of what had happened. Mr. Pamuk had died in the bed of a Countess's bastard daughter.

Edith felt a momentary pang of regret for what this would do to her Mama, but then she remembered Mary's smug face from earlier. Mary had always acted as if Downton Abbey was hers by rights, but Edith knew the truth now. She had overheard her parents talking about it when Carson had gone missing. Mary was Carson's daughter. Edith was the rightful firstborn. Edith should be the next Countess of Grantham, not her bastard half sister.

She signed her name and sealed the envelope. She would put it in the postbox in the great hall for Carson to mail tomorrow morning.

Cora and Robert

"Mary and Matthew seemed to be close this afternoon," Cora said glancing surreptitiously at Robert as he settled into bed beside her. Neither had mentioned Mary courting the future Earl since Mary had learned of Carson. As much as Robert had said that he still thinks of Mary as his daughter, Cora couldn't help but worry that with all the recent unpleasantness he might resend his acceptance of the match.

"They did," Robert said leaning back against the headboard and turning to smile at his wife. "I'm rather pleased. I think they will make each other happy."

Cora looked at him in surprise. "Do you really think so?"

"Of course," Robert said furrowing his brow, "why wouldn't I?"

"It's just," Cora began hesitatingly, "what with all that business with Carson I wasn't sure you'd be happy that Mary and Matthew seem to be getting closer."

Robert sighed grumpily and rolled over on his side. "I don't want to talk about Carson. Mary is my daughter and I am happy that she is happy. Can we leave it at that?"

"Of course, darling," Cora said leaning over to place a kiss to Robert's cheek. She turned out her light and settled beside her husband throwing her arm over his shoulder to hold him close.


	10. Chapter 10

Carson felt his knees give way as he sank heavily into his chair behind his desk. He stared unblinkingly at the letter in his hands. With every word he read he could feel his heart beat faster in disbelief.

It had been months since his return to Downton, since lady Mary had overheard that fateful conversation between her parents. Everything had returned to normal. The ice between Lord Grantham and his butler had begun to thaw allowing them to work easier together. Lady Mary had recovered her equilibrium, rebuilding her relationship with both Lord Grantham and her mother. Carson's unexpected departure and return was no longer a topic for village gossip. All involved had breathed a sigh of relief that the secret was still safe.

So what had happened?

Carson corresponded regularly with other butlers and valets he had become acquainted with over the years. It was a good way to keep up with news and (though he would never admit it) gossip that only servants to the ruling classes were privy to. Normally, Carson was glad of this network because it helped him at times to provide a higher level of service to the Crawleys and their guests. And what gossip he gleaned was only good in so far as it proved that the family he worked for was an honorable one. The Crawleys had never been the subject of such gossip- until now.

Mr. Brodie, valet to the Marquess of Flintshire, had written him to inform him of a piece of news concerning Lady Mary Crawley that had come from the Turkish Ambassador with whom Lord Flintshire has dealings. The Ambassador had informed Lord Flintshire that he had recently been informed that the death of Mr. Kamal Pamuk at Downton Abbey had not been as it seemed. Namely that Mr. Pamuk had not died unexpectedly in his room as had been reported but in the room of an unmarried lady- Lady Mary- and then moved in the night back to his room. Carson was hard pressed to believe such a thing. Only the next bit of information made Carson's blood run cold because he knew it to be true.

The Ambassador claimed that Lady Mary was the result of an affair between the Countess of Grantham and one of her servants. Mr. Brodie. knowing that Carson had served the Crawleys since before the American heiress had arrived in England, was especially interested in whatever knowledge Carson may have in the matter.

Carson felt numb. For over twenty years his affair with Lady Cora had been kept a close secret. Now it was out as fodder for servant gossip and he had no idea what he was to do.

"Mr. Carson?"

Carson looked up into the worried face of Mrs. Hughes. She had entered his pantry while he was absorbed in his letter. Now she was standing beside him looking down at him in concern. Carson quickly folded his letter and put it in his jacket pocket. He hoped that Mrs. Hughes hadn't been able to read it.

"Yes, what is it?" he asked more agitatedly than he meant and Mrs. Hughes's eyes widened in reproach. He closed his eyes for a moment letting out a great sigh, then more gently, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Hughes. Was there something you needed?"

Mrs. Hughes studied him for a moment longer and Carson fought the urge to squirm under her scrutiny. "I came to ask you what we should do about Mrs. Patmore. She's only seemed to have gotten worse. She is very cruel to that poor girl."

Carson noticed for the first time the raised voice of the cook shouting at Daisy. He too had noticed Mrs. Patmore's increased bullying of the unfortunate kitchen maid. He can't imagine what he would do if he were in the cook's place. "Mrs. Patmore is very frightened."

"Is she right to be?"

"Well," Carson fluttered his hands over his desk, "Dr. Clarkson has confirmed she has cataracts. There are treatments, but even the best are uncertain."

"And she doesn't want to risk losing what sight she still has?" Mrs. Hughes supplied. At Carson's nod, she shook her head and looked back towards the door where Mrs. Patmore's shouting could still be heard over the noise of the kitchen. "I don't blame her, but this can't go on forever."

"No," Carson said quietly, tugging at his waistcoat. "It can't."

Suddenly he stood from his seat with a determination that made Mrs. Hughes take a step back from him. "If you'll excuse me, Mrs. Hughes, I have some work that I need to attend to before the family is awake."

At her acquiescent nod, he ushered her out of his pantry and into the hallway where they parted ways. Carson could feel her pitying gaze on him as he hurried up the staircase.

* * *

Cora had been once again summoned unceremoniously to her mother-in-law's house with no warning of what the summons could be about. Cora couldn't think of anything that she had done that could warrant a scolding from Mama. She hadn't been in need of one since the girls were small until the whole debacle with Carson a few months ago. Even then, Cora had thought the fault had been with Robert and Carson.

Now she was sitting with Mama exchanging small talk as Bruce laid their tea, but the gleam in the older woman's eyes worried her. Whatever they were to talk about was not something that could be discussed in front of servants. Bruce finished and Cora braced herself for the worst.

"I received a letter from my niece this morning," Violet said, carefully stirring her tea. Cora furrowed her brow in confusion at this seemingly useless bit of information.

"That's lovely of her."

Violet narrowed her eyes, "Is it?"

Cora gasped at the vitriol lacing VIolet's words. She had no idea what had raised Violet's ire, but she knew that she must tread carefully if she wanted to escape this tea unscathed. She placed her teacup back on the saucer so she could fold her hands in her lap. Then she bravely looked Violet in the eyes and waited for the older woman to speak.

Instead, Violet rose purposely from her seat and crossed the room to her writing desk. She withdrew a letter from inside and marched to stand in front of Coar. With a flourish she held the letter out to Cora. Cautiously Cora took the letter and opened it.

"Skip to "I'm sorry," Violet said shaking her head. " It's the second page. Susan never could use one word when twenty would do."

Cora looked to where Violet had indicated and started reading. "I am sorry to have to tell you that Hugh has heard a vile story about your granddaughter Mary…"

Cora inhaled sharply as she read the rest of what Susan Flintshire had to say. Everything was here in this letter. How Mr. Pamuk had gone to Mary's room and died there in her bed. How Mary had dragged Mr. Pamuk's lifeless body back to his room in the bachelor's corridor. Reading it here in black and white the story seemed almost fantastical. If she hadn't lived through the whole ordeal herself she almost wouldn't have believed it.

But there was one element of the story she had not been expecting. Susan's letter told of another indiscretion involving Mary…and Cora. There was talk that Mary was the result of an affair Cora had had with a servant. While this was true, Cora had no idea how this could have come to light. As far as she knew only she, Robert, Carson, Violet, and Mary knew of this and none of them would dare reveal the truth. Cora sat dumbfounded as Violet paced back and forth berating her hapless niece's letter.

"I'm sorry," Violet huffed. " She's thrilled! Not one, but two scandals she can hold over us!"

Violet stopped abruptly to stare imperiously down at Cora. "Now, think carefully. Is this other thing true?"

Cora looked up unblinkingly into her mother-in-law's eyes. Violet's face slackened in shock.

"How much is true, Cora?"

Cora glanced away guiltily. "Well, she didn't drag him."

Violet reached helplessly for her chair, sinking gracelessly into it. She studied her shoes for a long moment to gather herself. "I'd wondered about that. I thought Susan must have forgotten how far the girls' rooms are from the bachelor's corridor."

"She couldn't do it alone."

Violet furrowed her brow in confusion. "How did she do it?"

Cora smoothed her hand along her dress before answering calmly, "I helped her. She woke me up and I helped her."

Violet stared slack-jawed at Cora until her face hardened. "Well, I always thought that you would bring dissolution to this family. And now you've done it. You and your bastard daughter! Does Robert know about this?"

"No and he isn't going to," Cora snapped. "What else was I to do? It was terribly wrong, but I couldn't see…"

"Stop!" Violet nearly shouted holding up her hand. "I will not sit here and listen to you try to justify yourself."

"I know this is hard for you to hear," Cora began, drawing herself up to her full height. "God knows it was hard enough for me to live through. But if you expect me to disown my own daughter, you will be disappointed. Good day."

Cora turned on her heel and stormed angrily out of the room.

* * *

Carson had tried most of the day to find a moment with His Lordship to discuss the letter he had received that morning. But with every thwarted attempt to speak to Lord Grantham, Carson felt more and more that he should not bring the rumors circulating about Lady Mary to his attention. Carson still refused to believe that his Lady Mary had acted in any way unvirtuous. He worried what such rumors would do to her reputation, but he was more worried about the rumor about he and Lady Grantham. If Lord Grantham found out that someone had let slip knowledge of the affair, Carson may have to leave for good this time.

It was now after dinner and the family were gathered in the drawing room. He did not think that they would be staying up much later due to the hostile atmosphere between Lady Grantham and the Dowager Countess all through dinner. This wasn't unusual in itself, but it didn't happen as often now as it had in the early days of Lord and Lady Grantham's marriage. Carson expected Lady Grantham to retire early tonight to escape from the Dowager and was waiting at the bottom of the stairs in the hopes that he might catch her alone. Perhaps she would know what to do about the rumors.

Carson looked up at the click of the drawing room door. He let out a sigh of relief to see Lady Grantham walking towards him alone. He stepped out from his spot near the wall. Lady Grantham smiled when she saw him.

"Your Ladyship, do you have a moment?"

"Of course," she smiled.

Carson reached into his breast pocket for the letter that he had carried with him like a great weight all day. He barely refrained from shuffling his feet. "I have received a letter, my lady, from a friend of mine. He's valet to the Marquess of Flintshire."

Carson noticed Lady Cora stiffen at the mention of Lord Flintshire but she quickly relaxed into a conspiratorial smile. "I don't envy him."

Carson chuckled more from nerves than Lady Grantham's attempt at a joke. "Lord Flintshire is a minister at the Foreign Office."

"As you know, Lady Flintshire is His Lordship's cousin," Cora supplied.

"Of course," Carson corrected himself, then continued hesitantly glancing over his shoulder. "The point is, Lord Flintshire has dealings with the Turkish Ambassador. It seems His Excellency has made him privy to a scurrilous story concerning Lady Mary and the late Mr. Pamuk… And you."

"May I read this letter?" Lady Cora asked oddly cold and Carson handed it to her readily.

Carson watched her eyes travel slowly across the page. He almost growled in impatience as she took her time reading through the whole letter. He didn't know how much more time they would have to discuss this without an audience.

"Is there anything you want me to do about it, my lady?" he asked impatiently.

Cora finally looked up to him as if she had just noticed his presence. "No, thank you. Sometimes even to deny these things is only to throw paraffin onto the flames."

"But, your Ladyship," Carson countered, "we know one of these to be true. The other is a blatant lie, of course. But leaving these rumors unchecked could do great damage to Lady Mary, to you, and to His Lordship."

Lady Grantham folded the letter neatly and held it out for Carson. She met Carson's eyes steadily. "Carson, I know your instinct is to protect Lady Mary, but the best way for us to do that is to ignore these rumors. If we acknowledge them, we give them credence. Please, do nothing."

Reluctantly, Carson nodded. "And His Lordship? I thought to tell him earlier but I couldn't get a chance."

"Leave His Lordship to me," Cora said firmly. "I don't want another incident between the two of you."

"Of course, my lady."

Lady Grantham turned to go up the stairs. Carson stood watching her until she turned the corner to the family's rooms.

* * *

 **A/N A lot of the dialog used is taken from season 1 episode 6. I changed things when I needed to and moved around the timeline. Thanks to those of you still reading this and for your reviews.**


	11. Chapter 11

The soft crunch of his footsteps on the gravel path lent a soothing rhythm to Carson's thoughts as he made his way back to the Abbey from the village. His unsettled mind was far from silver polish and postal stamps. His thoughts, as they had been for the past few weeks, revolved around Mr. Brodie's letter and the news it had carried.

Try as he might, Mr. Carson could not fathom who would have been careless enough to let slip Lady Mary's true parentage. For a dark moment, he considered His Lordship's involvement but dismissed the idea as soon as he thought it. Despite his faults, Lord Grantham would never do such a thing to his wife and daughter.

That left the servants. Carson had considered each one thoroughly, but as far as he knew none of them had learned of his affair with Lady Grantham. Certainly, the only person besides himself that was still at the Abbey since the affair was Mrs. Patmore and he doubted she would have been observant enough back then to have noticed. Of course, Thomas and Ms. O'Brien were likely culprits. They seemed to thrive on secrets, but Carson was sure that they would have tried something closer to home rather send their knowledge elsewhere.

The only person who Carson knew had recently come into the knowledge of his affair with Lady Grantham was Lady Mary herself. Had she unknowingly let slip to someone she thought a friend that she was not the legitimate daughter of the Earl of Grantham? Carson shook his head. Lady Mary would never do something so stupid!

But none of this speculation explained that other rumor. The one about his Lady Mary entertaining that Turkish gentleman in her bed the night that he died. That rumor Carson refused to believe. He thought it a malicious lie meant to boost the credibility of the first rumor. Even though, remembering back, Carson had noticed how abnormally emotional Lady Mary had been at the time. He had accounted it to her first real experience with death. Even when he had found her in Mr. Pamuk's room he had thought little of it.

Carson shook his head and rolled his shoulders in an attempt to clear his mind. He was only going in circles with this line of thinking. He had more important things to worry over. The Dowager Countess and Mrs. Crawley and Mr. Matthew were coming to dinner tonight. He needed to focus on the preparations for that. Sparks always flew when those two formidable women were in the same room. Dinners with Lady Violet and Mrs. Crawley were always either highly amusing or highly uncomfortable. Carson didn't know which he preferred less.

Carson was glad that Mr. Matthew was coming to dinner if only for Lady Mary's sake. He smiled faintly thinking of how close the two of them were becoming. He had been against the match in the beginning. How could a solicitor from Manchester be worthy of his Lady Mary? Nevermind that he was Lord Grantham's heir. But it soon became clear, even to Carson, that they were enamored of each other. Mr. Matthew was a bit rough around the edges but he was a good man, Carson thought. And if he made Lady Mary happy then Carson was glad of it.

Stepping through the wrought iron gate into the main drive of the Abbey the imposing facade of the castle came into view. Carson swept his eyes from top to bottom looking for any imperfections that would need tending. He did the same for the front lawn until his eyes settled on a figure sat on a bench beneath the large cedar tree. As he walked closer he recognized the figure as Lady Mary. And...it appeared she was crying. He slowed to a halt.

Carson looked hesitantly between the upset young woman and Downton Abbey. Upon his return from London, he had made the decision to keep his distance from Lady Mary. He had thought it best to give the young Lady some space to spend time with her family. Now, though, he felt his resolve begin to crumble.

His feet were moving before he had made a conscious decision. In a few long strides, he was in hearing distance and coughed to make his presence known. He glanced away as Lady Mary reached up to wipe away the evidence of her tears. He stopped in front of her smiling kindly.

"Is everything all right, my Lady?"

"Of course, Carson," Lady Mary sniffed looking defiantly at him through the tear tracks on her face.

Carson looked fleetingly toward the Abbey before taking a few quick steps to carefully ease himself onto the bench beside her. He looked out across the lawn for a moment before beginning softly. "I know I have not been the most...attentive of butlers these past weeks, but know that you may always confide in me. And know that I will always be on your side."

Lady Mary had kept her eyes on her trembling hands as he spoke. Carson waited patiently for her to speak until she gasped suddenly, "Oh Carson, I'm ruined!"

Carson pulled the crying young woman into his embrace. "Don't say that, my Lady. You're not ruined."

"But I am!" she sobbed into his shoulder. "There are rumors...awful rumors…"

"I know, my Lady," Carson soothed, "but they're just that. Rumors. They aren't true."

Lady Mary became more hysterical at his words. Carson held her tighter until she calmed enough to whisper into his jacket. Carson almost believed he had misheard her at first. He had to ask her to repeat herself.

"But they aren't just rumors, Carson. They're true. All of them. Even the one about Mr. Pamuk."

Carson felt himself stiffen as her admission sank in. He couldn't believe what she had just told him. He had spent so long denying the story of Lady Mary and Mr. Pamuk that he was left in shock. He could only blink as Lady Mary pulled away from him to stand away from the bench where he still sat.

"What must you think of me," she said wrapping her arms around herself. "You must be so disappointed in me."

"No," Carson said automatically. He was shocked by her admission, he couldn't deny it, but had she really done anything worse than he had all those years ago with Lady Grantham? He took a moment to gather himself and then stood to walk over to her. He bent his head to look steadily into her eyes. "I think, we all of us make mistakes and that we cannot be expected to be forgiven of our own if we do not forgive others."

Lady Mary looked up at him helplessly. "I don't know what to do, Carson."

Carson thought hard about what he should say to her. She needed his support in this, but she didn't need any false promises that everything would be perfect. He wasn't sure that he was the best person for this type of advice. He had kept his own transgression a tightly kept secret until very recently and even now he was doing his best to avoid acknowledging it. The story about Lady Grantham and a servant having an illicit child together never mentioned who the servant was. Perhaps it was cowardly of him, but he was glad that that piece of information had yet to come to light. He felt guilty knowing that this rumor was affecting Lady Grantham and Lady Mary so much. But he did agree with Lady Grantham that ignoring it was the best course of action. Perhaps if the family closed ranks, as it had done, the story would fade, but if he tried to draw attention away from Lady Mary by acknowledging his part that would only give credence to the story. How could any of this help Lady Mary now?

"My Lady," Carson began, "you have the love of your family and a home to support you. These rumors may cause you some trouble now, but you are strong enough to outlast them. Because they _will_ fade eventually. They _will,"_ he said again reaching for her hands to squeeze them encouragingly. "You must remember that you are Lady Mary Crawley. And that means that you aren't alone. Even in this."

Mary smiled through her tears at him. "Thank you, Carson. I can always count on you for a boost in confidence."

"And you will always find one here, my Lady."

* * *

Some Weeks Later

Matthew held Lady Sybil as steady as he could in the speeding car. She was still unconscious from her fall at the vote count in Ripon. Matthew hadn't planned on staying as late as he had at the office, but he was ever grateful that he had been on hand to assist Branson. He still

"Steady on!" Matthew called to Branson as the chauffeur took a sharp turn without slowing from the already rapid speed of the car.

"I'm sorry," Branson nearly cried. "Oh God, I'm so sorry."

The man had been beside himself since those ruffians had pushed into the courtyard where the byelection results were called. Matthew felt sorry for the poor man. He was sure to lose his job now. Lord Grantham had made himself very clear when he had forbidden Sybil from going back to Ripon for any political reasons. Even if Branson had been tricked by Sybil's story as everyone else apparently had, Matthew doubted Robert would be any more lenient.

The car sped into the main street of Downton Village. They had made better time than Matthew had hoped. He looked down at the still form of Sybil in his arms. They couldn't take her to the Abbey looking like this. She had dirt and blood staining her face and her clothes weren't much better. The hospital was out of the question, too. The very first person Dr. Clarkson would call would be Robert.

"Stop by Crawley House, Branson," Matthew called. Branson barely acknowledged him, but he turned down the street leading to the house. "Mother will know what to do."

* * *

Mary closed the door to Sybil's room behind her. Mama was with her younger sister now trying to calm her down from the argument with their Papa. He had stormed out of the room and Mary didn't know where he had gone. She hoped he would calm down before he talked to Branson. She didn't approve of the friendship between the chauffeur and her sister, but she didn't believe that man needed to be sacked. Sybil had clearly lied to him to get to Ripon. It wasn't entirely his fault.

Mary sighed as she began to descend the main staircase. She hoped that Sybil and Papa wouldn't stay angry for very long.

"Is Lady Sybil all right?"

Mary looked up in surprise to see Matthew waiting at the bottom of the stairs. She smiled warmly at his worried expression. He really had been a hero tonight.

"She will be," she laughed. She leaned conspiratorially closer to him to say, "it's Papa you should be worried about. He seems likely to explode any minute. I do hope Branson stays clear for a few days."

Matthew's eyes crinkled in amusement. "I'm sure he will. I would if I were him."

They were standing very close together now. Mary felt herself become breathless held in his gaze. Her eyes fluttered shut as Matthew bent his head to hers.

"I've laid the sandwiches for Mr. Crawley in the dining room, my Lady."

Mary jumped back from Matthew at the interruption. He looked as uncomfortable as she to be caught out by Mrs. Hughes. Mary managed a smile in the housekeeper's direction while trying to avoid her knowing gaze. "Thank you, Mrs. Hughes. That will be all."

Mrs. Hughes nodded at the two young people and took her leave. Mary noticed Matthew's confusion for the first time and laughed at him. Why was it that all she could seem to do around him was smile?

"I couldn't let Lady Sybil's hero starve, could I?" Mary called over her shoulder as she led Matthew to the dining room. She would keep him company while he ate. It was the least she could do. She glanced back at him to see the same smile she felt on her own face.

* * *

"I could strangle that boy! To have put Lady Sybil in such danger!"

Mrs. Hughes barely refrained from rolling her eyes at Mr. Carson. The butler had been railing at her since she'd walked into his pantry for their now customary nightly glass of sherry. She had been looking forward to sharing how she had walked in on Lady Mary and Mr. Matthew. It was a bit of good news for the house that she'd thought would cheer Mr. Carson from his gloom of the past few weeks. Instead, she had walked into the lion's den.

She didn't know why Mr. Carson was so angry at poor Mr. Branson. From what she had overheard the lad had been tricked into going to Ripon by Lady Sybil. Mr. Branson had only been following orders, as far as she was concerned. Unfortunately, Mr. Carson was not of the same mind.

"If it were up to me, that boy would be leaving this house tonight!" Mr. Carson declared.

Mrs. Hughes had had enough. "Really, Mr. Carson! If Mr. Branson should leave then so should you!"

Mr. Carson's face fell slack in shock. Mrs. Hughes continued before he could recover.

"Mr. Branson knew just as much about Lady Sybil's plans as you did when you escorted her out of the front door and into the waiting car! No one knew that Lady Sybil was going to the reading of the votes because she didn't tell anyone. The lad was just doing his job. No man should be sacked for that."

Mr. Carson was speechless but only for a moment. "I can't believe that you're defending that boy. And to accuse Lady Sybil of such-"

"Mr. Carson!" Mrs. Hughes shouted slamming her empty sherry glass onto the table between them. She closed her eyes to take a deep breath to calm herself. "I'll say goodnight before either of us say something we'll regret."

She heard Mr. Carson clamber to his feet as she stormed out of his pantry. That man was so infuriating! Couldn't he step down from his high horse for one moment to see how the rest of us lived?

"Mrs. Hughes, wait!" She thought of ignoring him and continuing on to her bedroom. "Mrs. Hughes, wait. Please."

She stopped on the first stair with her hand on the railing. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she turned to face him. From her position on the staircase she was looking down into Mr. Carson's contrite face. Mrs. Hughes almost forgot her anger.

"Mrs. Hughes, I," Mr. Carson began hesitantly tugging nervously on the bottom of his waistcoat. "I must apologize for my behavior. My problem is with Mr. Branson, not you." Mrs. Hughes rolled her eyes in exasperation. "And if it is agreeable to you, I hope we can finish our nightcap together. I promise to remain on my best behavior."

"Mr. Carson," she sighed down at his hopeful face. "I accept your apology," his eyes brightened, "but I am truly tired and will say goodnight now."

Mr. Carson nodded, resigned. "Goodnight then, Mrs. Hughes. Sleep well."

* * *

In the dining room, Matthew held Mary's chair for her as they both settled at the table. Matthew looked speculatively at the small spread in from of them.

"Let us drink to Sybil's safe return."

Mary smiled at Matthew's toast and looked away from him to find another glass. Not finding one near she began to rise. "Why not? I'll ring for a glass."

"Never mind that," he said handing Mary his full glass of wine and reaching for his water goblet to fill it with wine.

"You're not very fastidious about doing things properly, are you?" Mary smirked at him over her own glass.

"Are you?"

"Less than you might think," Mary smiled coyly at him as they raised their glasses in a silent toast.

Matthew turned from Mary to lift the silver dome from the serving plate in front of him to reveal a stack of neat sandwiches. He reached for one and asked, "Are you at all political?"

Mary smiled ruefully at him. "Yes, but with a hung parliament, it's hard to get excited about a byelection. You know nothing will change whoever gets in."

"I suppose that's practical," Matthew said between bites. Mary sniffed playfully at his lack of manners. Matthew merely raised an eyebrow and reached for another sandwich.

"Thank you for coming to Sybil's rescue. You were very brave. Sybil said you knocked a man down."

"I hope I did my duty," he said looking at her seriously.

Mary studied him intently for a long moment. "Are you a creature of duty?"

"Not entirely," he said slightly taken aback.

Mary smiled again into her glass. She looked up at him wickedly. "When you laugh with me or flirt with me," she paused, "is that a duty? Are you confirming to the fitness of things? Doing what's right?"

Matthew held her gaze with smiling eyes. "Don't play with me. I don't deserve it. Not from you."

Mary broke away from his gaze to look down the table. "You must be careful not to break Sybil's heart. I think she has a crush on you," she said glancing back to him.

"Well, that's something no one could accuse you of," Matthew chuckled.

With his attention turned away from her, Mary studied Matthew more closely. She had never denied he was a handsome man and lately she had come to more than enjoy his company. Their day spent touring local churches had proven that. True, she had been unkind to him when they had first met, but now. Did Matthew truly think she disliked him?

"I wouldn't be so sure of that."

Matthew's wide eyes flew back to hers with a spark of hope. "Is that so?"

He was leaning towards her across the small space between them and Mary's breath seemed to catch in her throat. A slow smile spread across her face as his intentions became clear. She breathed a small "yes" as she closed the distance between them.

There were no interruptions this time.

* * *

Carson closed his last account book for the night with a sigh. Today had been trying. At least, the evening had been trying. The morning had started out well enough, but after the stunt Branson pulled with Lady Sybil in Ripon things had fallen apart.

He had been shocked when Lady Mary and Mr. Crawley had brought a bruised and battered Lady Sybil in the front door. That shock had turned to anger when he had learned why she had been in that state. He had given Mr. Branson the dressing down of his life. The fool boy would have been out on his ear if it had been left up to him, but His Lordship had said that he would deal with it. It didn't sit well with Carson, though.

And there was that business with Mrs. Hughes. His face turned into a thoughtful frown. He had been a bit overbearing but he hadn't thought it too much. Surely that wasn't the only reason she was angry.

A swift knock on his door pulled him from his dark thoughts. Seeing the young lady standing in his doorway drew a warm a smile to his face as he stood.

"Lady Mary," he greeted her warmly as she walked into to his pantry to stand on the opposite side of his desk. "How can I help?"

Lady Mary practically beamed at him. "I have some news, Carson, that I wanted to tell you personally."

Carson waited patiently for her to continue but she only looked away in seeming embarrassment. Carson couldn't imagine what could cause her to act in such a way. She didn't seem too distressed so it obviously couldn't be bad news about Lady Sybil. She seemed happier than she had been in a long time. But he still could not fathom what could have happened so late in the evening to cause her happiness.

"Matthew's asked me to marry him," Mary let out in a rush. She looked expectantly at him from the other side of the desk. Carson stood still for only a moment before he felt his own face stretch into a smile.

"Does that make you happy?" Carson asked needlessly.

"Yes," Mary beamed breathlessly until a flash of uncertainty clouded her face. "But can I accept him, Carson?"

Carson frowned trying to follow her logic. Mr. Crawley was clearly smitten with her. Anyone could see it. And Lady Mary seemed fit to burst with pride when she'd told him of Mr. Crawley's proposal. Why wouldn't she accept him?

"My Lady?"

Mary nearly sighed in frustration. "He doesn't know," she said gesturing between them, "about you or anything. How can I accept him without telling him? Wouldn't I be lying to him?"

Carson was silent for a long moment. "If that is how you feel, then you should tell him before."

A huff of air escaped her this time as she looked pleadingly to her butler. "But what if I tell him and it changes how he feels?"

"My Lady," Carson began gently, walking around his desk to stand in front of her. She looked so fragile standing in the middle of his pantry staring at him with such misery it nearly broke his heart. He stood tall and in his sternest voice, he said, "If he cannot love all of you, my Lady, then he does not deserve you. But I do not think that will be the case," he added with a smile.

Carson was graced with Mary's wide smile as she stepped into him to place a small kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, Carson."

Carson watched her leave his pantry with a fond smile. He had a story to tell Mrs. Hughes in the morning.

* * *

 **A/N: I know it has been a long time since I posted anything for this story. I'm trying to get back into it, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish it. I've got outlines for the final 3 chapters and I'll work on them when I can.**

 **Thank you for reading this story and to everyone who reviews. They really do mean a lot!**


	12. Chapter 12

Matthew whistled as he peddled his bicycle to the Abbey. He felt a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He almost believed he could fly. Last night had been… absolutely wonderful. He laughed aloud, startling one of the estate workers he passed.

Mary had kissed him. Mary had kissed him and he had asked her to marry him. Then she had kissed him again, told him to come back tomorrow and speak to Lord Grantham, and then she would give him an answer.

He was met at the door by Carson who oddly gave him an approving nod before leading him to the library where Lord Grantham was waiting for him.

"Mr. Crawley," Carson announced as he opened the door. Matthew shot him a grateful smile before fixing his gaze on Mary's father.

Lord Grantham was sat at his writing desk. He didn't look up when Matthew entered the room focusing instead on the paper in front of him. Matthew stood awkwardly a few feet from him and waited. He tried not to fidget, but Lord Grantham seemed to be taking his time. When he finally did look up from his papers, Matthew almost wished he hadn't.

"You were busy last night," Lord Grantham said eyeing him speculatively. "Or so I've gathered." Matthew felt his face heat. "You saved one of my daughters from a political brawl and then asked another for her hand in marriage. Is there anything else I should be aware?"

"Lord Grantham-"

"Robert." Matthew blinked in confusion. Lord Grantham stood and closed the distance between them. "You should call me Robert if we are to be family."

Matthew stared in disbelief at the proffered hand before taking it with a relieved laugh. "Robert. I know I should have come to you first and I'm sorry-"

Robert waved him off jovially. "Don't worry about all that, my dear fellow. I will be glad to call you my son-in-law."

"Thank you, Robert."

Robert led them to the drinks tray where he poured them both a glass of whiskey. "I suppose now is when I tell you that if you hurt her I'll have to hurt you, but I think perhaps in this instance I should be more worried about you."

Matthew accepted his glass with a smile. "If she will have me I will be happy."

"Well," Lord Grantham said smiling down into his tumbler and then raising it in a toast. "Congratulations."

They were interrupted by Mary. "Carson said you were in here."

Robert stiffened and Matthew noticed his grip on his glass tighten. "Did he?" he asked coolly, miles from the convivial man of moments before. Mary seemed to notice and beamed brightly at them instead.

"I hope I'm not interrupting. You weren't being too hard on Matthew, were you Papa?"

Robert relaxed and smiled at his eldest daughter. "No. I was just telling Matthew how happy I am for the both of you."

Mary blushed and looked away. And Matthew couldn't help but think how becoming she looked. He took a small step toward her grinning as her eyes met his.

"Well," Robert said again, clearing his throat. "You two have some things to discuss. I'll leave you to it."

Matthew barely glanced at Robert leaving. He was fixed on Mary who was frowning slightly. "What is it?"

"I'm sorry." She shook her head.

"About what?"

"About earlier," she said waving her hand towards the door her father had left. "About Papa. I shouldn't have mentioned Carson. It was stupid of me. I knew he was still upset with him."

Matthew set his drink down and frowned himself. "Is this to do with why Carson left so suddenly a few months ago?"

"Partly," she sighed looking uncertainly up at Matthew. "It's a long story."

Matthew reached out to touch her but stopped himself. "I'd love to hear it if you want to tell me," he said gently instead.

Mary turned her head to stare out of the window into the gardens. Matthew thought he saw a flicker of fear cross her face and longed to reassure her somehow. He didn't know what she could be afraid of, but he would put it right if he could. This time when he reached for her he let himself clasp her hand in his and squeezed it gently. She turned back to him with a small smile.

"Would you like to go for a walk?'

"I'd love to," he grinned.

* * *

"Is it true then? Are we going to have a wedding here? Daisy asked as she helped pass around plates for the servant's lunch.

"Of course, they won't have the wedding here," Miss O'Brien scoffed. "It'll be in the church."

"She hasn't even accepted him yet, has she?" Thomas added.

"Will she, do you think?" Daisy asked.

Everyone turned to look at Anna who shrugged. "It's not my place to say, but she hasn't said either way."

"That's enough," Mr. Carson boomed as he entered the servants' hall with Mrs. Hughes at his side. He looked around the table before taking his seat and signaling for everyone else to do the same. "Thank you, Daisy. You may return to Mrs. Patmore in the kitchens."

The girl bobbed her head and scurried from the room. Soon the hall was filled with the clatter of people eating and relaxing. Mrs. Hughes glanced along the table to see that no one was paying them any mind and then leaned conspiratorially towards Mr. Carson.

"Will there be a wedding though?" she asked softly. "I was worried about the garden party at the end of the summer, but if there's to be a wedding, too, I'm afraid I'll have to talk to her Ladyship about Mrs. Patmore."

Mr. Carson sighed and looked to the kitchens where Mrs. Patmore sat eating her own luncheon with the kitchen maids. "I know. Dr. Clarkson's said she has cataracts. There are specialists in London but…" He shook his head.

"I don't know how much longer we can go on like this," Mrs. Hughes said thoughtfully, then smiled mischievously at Mr. Carson. "I suppose there's always the chance Lady Mary will say no."

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly at her. "I very much doubt that, Mrs. Hughes."

"Is that so?" she asked playfully. "Do you know something that we mere mortals don't, Mr. Carson?"

"Perhaps," he grinned waggling his eyebrows at her. They shared a quiet laugh and went back to their meals.

Neither noticed the rest of the table stop to look at them for a moment.

* * *

Mary blushed as her shoulder bumped into Matthew's as they walked. He grinned at her but didn't move away. Mary couldn't find it in herself to mind. She liked being close to him. She found she wanted to stay close to him. She had yet to accept his proposal, but she wanted, oh how she wanted, to say yes. There was just the pesky problem of her conscience. She couldn't marry him without telling him the truth about her. And when he knew the truth she was afraid he would regret asking her to marry him.

"Sybil told me she was looking forward to the season this year," Matthew said interrupting her thoughts. He grinned playfully at her and very deliberately knocked his shoulder into hers again. "Are you?"

"Are you trying to get rid of me already? You've only just asked me to marry you. I shouldn't think this bodes well for our future marriage."

The look of horror on Matthew's face sent her bursting into laughter. He stopped on the path to look at her ruefully, his expression one of resigned amusement. "You're teasing me."

"Well, you do make it rather easy," Mary said fondly. Boldly she wrapped her arm around his and pulled him along beside her. Matthew was taken aback by their new closeness for a moment before he smiled genuinely at her and tucked her hand more firmly through his arm. They walked again in silence while Mary gathered her courage to tell Matthew about Carson and Pamuk. They had reached a large willow tree and she stopped them beneath its shade.

"Matthew," she began looking at him earnestly, "I do wish to marry you."

Matthew beamed at her saying, "I wish to marry you, too."

Mary cut him off. "But I can't without telling you the truth."

"The truth about what?" he asked his brow furrowed in confusion.

"About me."

Matthew looked at her uncomprehendingly. Mary let go of his arm to step away from him. She needed a few moments to think of how to tell him. She had spent most of the last night after she had come down from the high of his marriage proposal trying to think of the best way to tell Matthew about her indiscretion. She had thought of a few ways to say it but now that she was here all of her carefully planned words had fled. She turned back to him to see his confused but concerned face. Taking a deep breath she began.

"Do you remember a Mr. Kamal Pamuk? He was a Turkish gentleman who stayed for the hunt last year?"

Matthew nodded. "Wasn't he also the gentleman who died in his sleep?"

"Yes," Mary swallowed her nerves and continued, "Only he didn't die in his sleep. He didn't die in his own bed either." Mary waited for Matthew to understand her. She hoped he would see it before she would have to say it. "He died in mine."

"Oh," Matthew said shocked. He looked away across the grounds before glancing back at Mary. "I see."

"And that's not all of it," Mary stated wanting to be done with this conversation so she could go cry in her room alone. Matthew's rejection was more difficult to bear than she had imagined.

"It's not?" He asked incredulously turning back to her fully.

"No. It's not. My name is Mary Josephine Crawley but I'm not...I'm not a Crawley. Lord Grantham isn't my father. Carson is."

"Wait!" Matthew said throwing his hand out as he began to pace back a forth. "Lord Grantham isn't your father because Carson is? Carson? How is that possible?"

"He had an affair with my mother," Mary said matter of factly.

"Carson? And Lady Cora? Carson, the most uptight man I have ever met, had an affair with Lady Grantham?" Matthew laughed. "You're having me on!"

"I'm afraid I'm not," Mary said with a wry twist of her mouth.

Matthew stopped his pacing to look at her, really look at her. Mary held his gaze as he studied her. "You're serious," he breathed in realization. "Carson is your father and you had," he grimaced, "a night of passion with that Turkish fellow." He shook his head. "This is a lot to take in."

Mary nodded resigned. She had known this was coming. Matthew wouldn't want her now that he knew who she really was. "I'll understand if you want to forget last night ever happened. I know what I've done is unforgivable. I won't blame you if-"

"Stop," Matthew commanded. He began to pace again. Mary watched him warily. "It was just the once?"

"Yes."

"And did you love him?" he asked.

Mary blinked at him in surprise. "What? No!"

"And what about me?" he asked. "Do you love me?"

"Yes," Mary said earnestly.

And then Matthew was kissing her. He had taken her into his arms and kissed her. "I don't care about your past," he said leaning back to look into her eyes. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. One mistake isn't going to change that. And Carson doesn't even matter. So," he said kneeling down on one knee, "Mary Josephine Crawley, will you marry me?"

"Oh, Matthew!" She laughed relieved. She reached down to pull him back to his feet. "Yes."


	13. Chapter 13

Mrs. Hughes frowned slightly at the excited chatter she heard coming from Lady Sybil's room. Her maids were supposed to be cleaning the family rooms, not indulging in idle gossip. She hurried along the corridor to see what all the fuss was about. Peering around the doorframe she found Anna and Gwen making Lady Sybil's bed while discussing the biggest news to hit Downton since that awful business with the Titanic- Mr. Matthew and Lady Mary's upcoming wedding.

"I think it's just lovely," Gwen was saying. "They seem so perfect together."

Anna nodded her agreement. "I'm happy for them. Lady Mary says-"

"Girls," Mrs. Hughes interrupted them. Much as she didn't believe Anna capable of spiteful speculation, it still wasn't a housemaid's place to show opinions on the Family's affairs. "I trust you've not encountered any problems in your work this morning?"

"No, Mrs. Hughes," they said in unison.

"How many more rooms are left?"

"Just Lady Mary's after we're through here," Anna chimed. Mrs. Hughes nodded approvingly and left them to finish their work.

Mrs. Hughes continued on her rounds thinking of preparations for the upcoming Season and the society wedding planned for the end of it. She wasn't worried about the Family's move to London– Mr. Carson had that well in hand and her schedule for the Abbey's yearly deep clean had been written out months ago. What troubled her most were the plans for Lady Mary's wedding. Specifically, the food that would be needed and who was going to prepare it.

Mrs. Patmore's eyesight continued to worsen. She could get along all right as long as things were kept in the same place and the recipes were ones she knew, but when things went wrong, the poor kitchen maid Daisy was the unfortunate recipient of the cook's ire. Much as she might wish otherwise, Mrs. Hughes could only see the wedding as too much for Mrs. Patmore's failing eyesight which could only end in disaster. She saw no way around bringing the issue up with Her Ladyship. Checking the time, she knew she could find Lady Grantham in her sitting room. Resolved, Mrs. Hughes changed directions to go find her Ladyship for a rather uncomfortable conversation.

* * *

Cora was sat at her vanity later that night after dinner. She had been thinking of Mrs. Hughes words throughout the day. Cora had known of Mrs. Patmore's ailment but hadn't realized the full extent of the problem.

Mrs. Hughes had obviously been reluctant to bring up Mrs. Patmore's illness. She had said she couldn't see a way to accommodate the cook, especially with Mary's upcoming wedding. Cora couldn't help but agree with her. Her eldest daughter was… selective at the best of times. She couldn't imagine her reaction if something went wrong at her wedding.

Cora didn't want to sack Mrs. Patmore. Even half blind she was still the best cook in Yorkshire. Mrs. Hughes had mentioned that Dr. Clarkson had spoken of a specialist in London. Mrs. Patmore had been reluctant to go for many reasons- money being chief among them, though Mrs. Hughes had not explicitly said. Cora frowned at herself in the mirror, a plan beginning to form in her mind, and waited for Robert to join her.

"Robert," she said excitedly to him as he entered their bedroom. "I have a proposition for you."

"Oh, that doesn't sound very good," Robert grinned.

Cora barely refrained from rolling her eyes at him. "It's about Mrs. Patmore. Mrs. Hughes brought it to my attention today that her eyesight is getting worse. It's cataracts, Dr. Clarkson, says and there are specialists in London who could fix them." She looked at Robert expectantly.

"Does she want to go to London?"

"Well," Cora hedged, "I don't think she's quite accepted how bad her eyesight had gotten."

"Yes, I suppose she's gotten used to it some," Robert agreed.

"Mrs. Patmore is such a good cook. It'd be a shame to lose her," Cora sighed turning back to her vanity to watch Robert's reaction in the mirror. "Especially with Mary's wedding at the end of the summer."

"It would," Robert said thoughtfully. His eyes lit up as he leaned toward Cora excitedly. "Maybe we don't' have to lose her. Do you think if we offered to pay for the specialist she would accept? She could come with us to London for the Season and be right as rain by the time it's over."

"She might," Cora encouraged him trying to keep a small grin from her face.

Robert nodded decisively, clearly pleased with himself. "That's settled then. I'll speak to Carson tomorrow, and Mrs. Patmore, and make the arrangements."

"That sounds wonderful," Cora said standing up from her vanity to give Robert a kiss. "You're such a good man."

Robert preened as they got into bed and Cora finally allowed herself a victorious smile. She'd known he wouldn't disappoint her.

* * *

Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson were sitting comfortably in his pantry sharing a glass of sherry. Mr. Carson was to leave with the Granthams to London in the morning and he was enjoying Mrs. Hughes's company before he would only be able to speak to her in letters.

Carson had always enjoyed Mrs. Hughes's friendship. They had run the house together efficiently because of it, Mr. Carson was sure. But something had changed between them since he had been sacked and then returned earlier this year. They had gotten closer. They had enjoyed small banter and household gossip before, but now Mrs. Hughes was bolder. She challenged him more. He didn't know what had caused the change and he couldn't bring himself to disapprove of it though he was vaguely aware that he should as the head of the Household.

"Do you think Mrs. Patmore will be alright in London?" Mrs. Hughes asked suddenly, drawing Mr. Carson from his musings. He frowned trying to glean her meaning. Mrs. Patmore would be with almost the entire household in London. Why wouldn't she be alright?

"Yes, I imagine so," he said slowly. "She won't be alone."

Mrs. Hughes huffed slightly, "I meant with her operation."

"Oh," Mr. Carson said in comprehension. How could he have missed that? "Dr. Clarkson is very hopeful that it will be a success."

Mrs. Hughes nodded into her glass thoughtfully. Mr. Carson eyed her sympathetically. She was a kind-hearted person, Mrs. Hughes. Naturally, she would be worried about the cook and her eye operation. He didn't think there was any need. It seemed a straightforward medical operation the end of which would see Mrs. Patmore with her eyesight restored. The marvels of modern medicine, Carson thought wondrously.

"I'm sure Mrs. Patmore will be fine," Mr. Carson said with a smile hoping to reassure Mrs. Hughes. "She'll have the best care."

"Thanks to His Lordship," Mrs. Hughes said without her usual sarcasm she used when speaking of the family. She looked at Carson seriously. "It appears you were right about the Granthams. They are more generous than most anyone."

Carson tried to contain his self-satisfied grin with little success. "I should get this in writing. You've admitted I'm right about something."

"Oh you," Mrs. Hughes laughed. "I was being serious. This is a very generous thing they've done. Most people would have offered her a retirement settlement and found a new cook."

"They are good people, Mrs. Hughes," Mr. Carson said with conviction.

"Then you are a better person than I am," she said quietly. "Especially after what they did to you."

Mr. Carson felt frozen in his seat. She couldn't be talking about what he thought. She couldn't know. "What?"

Mrs. Hughes bit her lip as she glanced away. She took a deep breath before she turned back to him boldly. "When you went away earlier, you didn't just leave," her grip on her glass tightened slightly. "You were sacked."

Mr. Carson couldn't look at her. He felt numb. He'd thought he'd been able to keep that part of his departure quiet what with his and His Lordship's explanation of a family emergency. How had Mrs. Hughes found out? He let out a bark of laughter. How had he expected her _not_ to have found out?

"I'm sorry, Mr. Carson," she murmured, setting her glass down and standing. "I shouldn't have said anything. Only," she paused with a slight frown, "whatever it was for, you didn't deserve it. You're quite possibly the best butler in Yorkshire and probably the whole of Britain. His Lordship must have been out of his mind."

"He wasn't," Mr. Carson interrupted her, finally meeting her eye. "He did what he thought necessary to protect his family. His Lordship is a good man."

Mrs. Hughes shook her head sadly. "The Crawleys don't deserve you, Mr. Carson."

She left him still sitting in his pantry. His only consolation was that she didn't seem to know why he had been sacked. He was mortified but grateful for that at least. At least Lady Mary and her mother were spared further humiliation.

He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. Mrs. Hughes parting words were still ringing through his head. No, he thought, the Crawleys didn't deserve him. They would have been much better off without him.

* * *

"Are you looking forward to your first Season, Sybil darling?" Papa asked over his morning papers, surrounded by his three daughters.

"Everso, Papa!" Sybil gushed launching into a list of all the things she wished to do in London.

Edith smiled at her sister's contagious enthusiasm. She could well remember the excitement of her first London Season. For the first time in her life, she had been the center of attention and she had reveled in it. Edith couldn't help but be happy for her youngest sister.

"We'll have to go dress shopping, of course," Sybil said breezily, "for Mary and Matthew's wedding. It's going to be so beautiful, I know it!'

Mary smiled into her teacup at the mention of her upcoming nuptials. Edith scowled darkly. Mary was happy again despite Edith's letter to the Turkish Ambassador. Her plan to ruin Mary had failed, and with her marriage to Matthew at the end of the summer, Mary was set to become the next Countess of Grantham. Edith fumed.

Oh so perfect Mary, always getting whatever she wants. Always _believing_ she would get what she what she wants. Well, now Edith knew the truth. Edith knew that Mary's entitlement was nothing but a lie. Mary wasn't Edith's eldest sister. She wasn't even a Crawley. She was just a servant's bastard. She didn't deserve to become the next mistress of Downton Abbey. She definitely didn't deserve kind, sweet Matthew.

"You'll have no shortage of suitors, Sybil darling. You won't have much competition," Mary said drawing Edith back into the conversation. She glanced wryly at Edith. "It's just Edith you'll have to worry about."

"Mary!" Sybil scolded.

Mary rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, Edith dear. I'm sure you'll find a husband this year."

Edith grinned darkly at her half-sister across the breakfast table."Yes, I'm sure I will."

 **A/N So with this chapter I've tacked on a few more chapters than originally planned. Instead of 14 chapters there will now be at least 16. Maybe more. Thanks to everyone who's still reading this story. Reviews are always welcome! Tell me you like it or even if you think I should pack it up and end this sucker. I love hearing from you!**


	14. Chapter 14

Carson blew through the servant's halls in Grantham House as easily as he did at the Abbey. He had just received a telegram for His Lordship and was on his way to deliver it. The maids and footmen parted before his thunderous gaze. They knew well his temper and when to avoid it. His scowl lifted, though, as he spotted Anna farther along the corridor.

"Anna," he called out, brightening his countenance as he caught up with her. "Did you and Mrs. Patmore have any trouble finding Harley Street this morning?"

"No, Mr. Carson," Anna said with a slight curtsey. "We found the doctor all right."

Mr. Carson nodded thoughtfully. "And Mrs. Patmore," he paused. "Was she...well when you left her?"

Anna smiled. "Yes, Mr. Carson. The doctor said we could pick her up in a fortnight and she would be right as rain."

Mr. Carson cleared his throat. "Very good. Thank you, Anna."

He felt Anna's eyes on his back as he continued on his way. Mr. Carson didn't know why Anna seemed so surprised that he would ask after Mrs. Patmore's well-being. She was a member of his staff and a butler was only as good as his staff. He grunted irritably at a hall boy that didn't scurry out his way fast enough. That Mrs. Hughes would be happy for news of the cook was of no consequence.

* * *

Robert smiled as his wife and three daughters breezed into the sitting room of Grantham House fresh from their outing to one of London's many dressmakers. "You're just in time for tea," he said rising from his chair. "I almost thought you wouldn't make it."

"So did we," Cora said giving him a quick kiss. She smiled indulgently at their girls. "I'm afraid some of us got a bit carried away."

"Oh dear! Do I have any money left?" Robert joked.

"Not very much, I'm afraid," Mary quipped.

"Oh, Papa! I've found the absolute perfect dress for Lord and Lady Merton's ball next week," Sybil gushed as they all sat.

Robert reached for Cora's hand beside him, running his thumb across the back of her hand as they listened to their youngest exclaim over the shopping trip. He smiled at his family happily gathered together. He was so proud to have them all. He met Cora's eye with a grin and leaned over for another easy kiss.

He froze momentarily when he leaned back into his own seat. He'd caught sight of Carson stood quietly behind the table where the tea was laid. He consciously loosened his jaw to smile at a small joke from Edith. This was _his_ family.

"Carson," Robert called out. "I'm sure that Thomas and William can serve our tea today. Don't you have preparations for Lady Sybil's presentation ball to attend to?"

The room fell into silence. Carson's eyes darted to Robert's in mild shock. He nodded stiffly. "Of course, Your Lordship."

Robert held onto Cora's hand more tightly as he watched Carson leave.

* * *

"I thought perhaps you could wear this dress tonight, my Lady," Anna said holding up a delicate evening gown for Mary's approval.

"Of course," Mary half-smiled, barely glancing at the dark green frock. She stood pliantly as Anna dressed her in silence.

Mary was troubled. Oh! How she hated that word! Troubled. It sounded much too much like Edith. Mary sneered. But...there was no other word to describe what she felt. She _was_ troubled.

She hadn't realized how much the events of the past year still affected her family until Papa had sent Carson out of the room earlier. After Matthew had accepted Carson as Mary's father, Mary had thought the whole business over. She was going to marry Matthew and she was happy. Shouldn't everyone else be happy, too? What did it matter anymore about her true relationship to Carson? Couldn't Papa just let it go?

Mary frowned as a new thought struck her. Was Papa regretting his decision to have her as his daughter? He had told her that she was his as far as he was concerned, regardless of her mother's affair. And he had seemed genuinely happy at the news of her engagement. But was it all an act?

"Anna," Mary began carefully. "Do you think I'm doing the right thing?"

"The right thing, milady?"

"In marrying Matthew," she clarified. "Am I right to be marrying him?"

"It's not my place to say, milady, but," Anna smiled, "you seem very happy."

Mary smiled back. "I _am_ very happy."

Anna nodded as she adjusted Mary's necklace. "Then, yes, I think you're doing the right thing."

Mary nodded not quite convinced. Perhaps Anna was right. If she was happy did it matter what anyone else thought? Mary stared at her reflection in the mirror.

Yes. It did. It mattered a great deal.

* * *

Carson stood silent and stone-faced in the drawing room after dinner. Thomas and William were serving after dinner drinks. After this afternoon, Carson thought it best to limit his interactions with Lord Grantham. His Lordship's rebuke had been particularly harsh and he had been hard put to explain it to his footmen without raising their suspicions about why Lord Grantham had banished him from the room. Dinner had been difficult, but Carson's place was behind Lord Grantham when he wasn't pouring the wine so he had escaped unscathed. Now, in the drawing room, Carson stood as still and inconspicuous as he could.

Lord Grantham was ignoring him. Carson had expected His Lordship to be prickly with him, but before they had left Downton, he had seemed more at ease in his butler's presence. Carson had tried to step back from Lady Mary and push her toward her father, but after he had found her crying beneath the old tree at Downton he hadn't been able to ignore her. He had always been a shoulder to cry on for Lady Mary. The habits of a lifetime didn't die easily. Perhaps Lord Grantham had discovered that it was Carson who had given Lady Mary advice with regards to Mr. Matthew. That would certainly explain the vitriol he'd spewed at tea today.

Lady Mary herself had been withdrawn all evening. Even now, she had sequestered herself at the corner card table with a game of solitaire. Carson forced himself not to glance too often in her direction. He was worried about her. She and the Dowager Countess could always be counted upon to match wits at the dinner table, but Lady Mary had barely uttered three words the entire night.

Thomas and William returned to his side after serving the last of the drinks. Carson nodded to dismiss them. He glanced quickly around the room to make sure that all was in order and caught Lord Grantham's eye. Both men froze with hardened faces. Carson blinked and forced himself to turn and walk out of the room. He would have to be more careful around Lord Grantham from now on it seemed.

* * *

"Goodnight, Papa," Edith said giving Robert a kiss on his cheek. Robert smiled down at her indulgently.

"Goodnight, Edith dear." Robert watched her leave thoughtfully. Poor Edith. Always falling behind no matter how much she tried to scratch her way to the top. He would have to spend more time with her. He had been neglecting her between Mary's crisis and Sybil's first Season.

He looked across the room to where his eldest daughter was still playing cards alone. They were the last two up. He walked over to her. "You've been awfully quiet tonight. Is everything all right?"

Mary glanced up from her card game. "Yes. Only… I've been thinking."

Robert chuckled. "That's never a good thing!"

Mary smiled ruefully then looked up at Robert solemnly. "Papa, are you," she hesitated, "angry with me?"

Robert frowned and sat down across from her. "Angry with you? Why would I be angry with you?" he asked genuinely confused.

"Because I'm marrying Matthew."

Robert studied Mary's face closely. "I don't understand. Why would I be angry with you for marrying Matthew? Do you not want to marry him?"

"No! I mean, yes, I do want to, but," Mary sighed and looked back down at her cards. "He's the heir to Downton and I'm just...me," she finished softly.

Robert's eyes widened as he finally understood Mary's question. "Mary," he said gently, reaching for her hand across the table. "Look at me, please." He waited for her look up from the table. "I am not angry at you. I am so very happy for you and Matthew. I couldn't ask for a better husband for my daughter. And you are my daughter. You always have been and you always will be. I promise you that."

Mary's eyes shone too brightly across at him. She blinked rapidly. "So you're not angry about Carson?"

Robert forced himself to smile. "No, I'm not angry with you about Carson."

Mary nodded. She breathed deeply and rose from her chair. She smiled briefly at him and then leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you, Papa. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, darling," Robert returned as he watched her walk to the door. He hesitated, then called out, "Mary!" She turned back to him. "As hard as it is for an Englishman to say, I do love you."

Mary grinned brightly at him. "I love you, too, Papa."


End file.
